Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Whales to be deployed to find the missing plane

24, Mar 2014 By praankygienie

In view of the recent disappearance of the MH370 into the vast Indian ocean, American marine biologists have come up with the idea of attaching receptors on the bodies of all deep sea marine creatures specially whales, such that in future if any vessel goes missing, these aquatic resources can be tapped to provide fast and valuably free service to humanity.

The Institute of Cost-Benefit Analysis has supported the project citing that it will be cheaper to attach receptors on such thousands of animals rather than send out war ships and air force for futile searches. The fast services of the animals will also ease the medical expenses of anxious family members of the missing passengers.

Moby Dick, the Union leader of United States of Marina (USM) had initially rejected cooperation until it received soft threats from United States of America (USA). What these soft threats were, have not been revealed in detail by Moby Dick as of yet, but he just pointed out to an old wound of a harpoon.

Our Faking News reporter was very intelligent to understand the message. The marine society members understand that it is after all their land that is getting polluted and that they will have to pick up the jhaadu – as quoted by an aam machli of USM.

Upon hearing this project proposal, a Scientific Instruments Manufacturing Company has immediately offered to supply the receptors, stating that they have since long been manufacturing such devices. Upon inquiry as to who has been using them and for what purpose the company initially refused, until it also received soft threats by our faking news reporter who showed him a newspaper with a broad headline.

What was written in the headline is not of importance, but the company CEO was smart enough to get the message. He revealed that Nat Geo marine photographers have been long using these receptors in shallow to mid water fishes all over the world. These devices also have a certain remote control system which can be used to bring the fishes to any location. How else do you think those guys get such amazing photos?- he smirked. The receptors also contain information about shape size and color of the fishes.

Our faking news reporter got hold of a Nat Geo marine photographer to confirm this report, also using a soft threat (don’t bother to ask what the soft threat was). The photographer confirmed that the Nat Geo Prize for Best Marine Life Photo that he got last year was ‘fixed’. He programed the remote control cum receptor devices in such a way that one red, one blue, one green and one yellow fish were swimming in an exactly 90 degree square formation.

Our faking news reporter dived further back to Moby Dick to enquire about their collaboration with Nat Geo. He confessed to the photo fixing saying that Nat Geo had promised them good quality bio fish feed and some tourist meat, which would be quality controlled by Greenpeace and also lots of popularity. Recently a photographer had made a new deal with them that he would set up a Facebook profile for the USM where they can gather lots of likes. He has also promised to throw a lot of iPods into the sea so that the fish can listen to music and iPads with good Wi-Fi so that the fish have access to Skype; You tube Facebook etc. Life down here can get boring sometimes.

At this point our faking news reporter had dived so deep down that he couldn’t really surface back to the (topic) shore. We think he is also missing along with the plane and we are waiting for Moby Dick and his friends to help in finding (Nemo) Reporter.