Saturday, 24th June, 2017

United Nations orders Israel to remove its defenses and stop retaliation

05, Aug 2014 By manithan

Geneva:Finally, United Nations has done its round of talks with both Israel and Hamas successfully. With the approval from all of the member nations, United Nations has proposed the following 8-point Resolution warning Israel in this ongoing massacre and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip:

1. Israel should fight with Hamas “like a man”. Israel should stop using all its weapons and go with bare hand to fight with the Hamas. Apparently, no such orders exists for Hamas, and they can use the weapons that they get from Arab countries. UN also confirmed that Israel sending its soldiers without weapons will amount to international war crimes.

2. Israel should demolish their bomb shelters, that had saved all the cruel Jews from the peaceful missiles of the most peaceful Hamas. Also, Israel should disable Iron Dome and all other such defenses. UN also reiterated that Israel lowering its defenses is an indirect sign of using Israelis as “human shield”.

3. Israel should boycott its own products. It should stop producing any items that will enrage the erstwhile peaceful societies in Middle East, Europe and rest of Asia. UN highlighted the fact that not involving people in industrial jobs will result in indirect mass murder of its own people, for which Israel again will be responsible.

4. Israel should help in Hamas constructing tunnels to its center, as closing tunnels results in violation of human rights and freedom of “self-destruction to bring political change”. Also, Egypt is forced to open its border in Gaza strip to enable free flow of essential materials for Hamas.

5. Israel should redirect all its US weapons to Hamas, thereby repenting for its sin in mass murder. Also, Israel should never retaliate in future, if in case, Hamas fires missiles on them.

6. Israel should bow down before the world for being the reason of all exodus of themselves in the world. Also, Israel should stop being racist and apartheid.

Israel supporters celebrating in joy after hearing UN resolution. Many expressed joy over their ability to share blood-ridden, head-smashed photos of Israelis on Social media with #PrayForIsrael hashtag, since Israel will not be defending itself. Many feel that rise in death count of Jews will help them in getting the sympathy of world.

7. Since Jews came to Israel and snatched away the rights of native Arabs, they are the oppressors. Never before in the world, had it occurred that people from some other land came and occupied other’s land and persecuted the locals. Israel was the first example of such persecution of locals. By the way, Palestinians really belong to the land where they are living now, ever since 150000000 BC. Egypt and the rest of Africa should not grant asylum to jews fleeing back from Israel as those regions are not colonial settlers but indigenous people.Only Jews that formed Israel were the worst oppressors, non-Indigenous and the first colonial settlers.

8. Finally, Israel should stop to exist. The existence of Israel is the only reason for all the Middle East conflicts. Israel has paid almost all the terrorists in the world and is the reason for everything bad that occurred to the world since 8000 BC. UN has urged people to remember that 1948 AD comes before 8000 BC.

Almost all of the member nations of UN agreed to this 8-point plan, even including United States of America, as it does not want to lose its secular image.

Upon hearing this resolution by United Nations, Israeli Prime Minister, NetanYahoo, jokingly commented, “United Nations resolutions are like New Year resolutions. Others will remind you about it, you will feel determined to finish it, but at the end, you never achieve what you have resolved.”