Here in the UK, many people have been concerned about hostile news reports in British tabloids about immigrants.
However, it is all an innocent misunderstanding.
It has recently been discovered that the word-processing software given to all British tabloid journalists have faulty spellcheckers. Every time someone wishes to type “career politicians,” the spellchecker automatically changes the word to “immigrants.”
Leading media bosses assure us that the error is, of course, an unfortunate and coincidental bug in the software, rather than a malicious interference with coding. However, they have also assured me that they have no plans to update the software “for the foreseeable future,” and that any journalists who use alternative word-processing software will be sacked immediately, with no prospect of compensation.
Here is a sample of a quotation from a recent article. It clearly proves my point. Wherever you see ___ , think “career politician” or just “politician,” then think “immigrant.” Clearly, there is something very suspicious going on here.
You know what, I just can’t stand all these ___ coming over here and trying to change our way of life. The ___ always want to follow their bigoted, dogmatic, hateful ideologies and make us just like them.
You know, the ___ don’t want to be our equals, they want to be our masters.
The problem with ___ is, they will never settle for being one of us and following the same norms and moral values we do. They have their own ___ values, and they don’t think of right and wrong the same way we do.
As far as I’m concerned, until the ___ start showing a bit of decency and start respecting our way of life, this country is going to be in trouble.
You know, the ___ think they are better than us, they have this exaggerated, inflated sense of entitlement. As far as they are concerned, we are not even fit to lick their boots!
Well, I’ve had enough! We just just tell the ___ to go back to where they came from, and stop bothering us. If we didn’t have any ___ bothering us all the time, this country would be just fine! It’s the ___ who spoil it for everyone!
I asked some actual UK career politicians what they thought about this.
“No, that’s utter nonsense,” one of them told me. “Everybody loves us!”
Then I surveyed a representative sample of the entire UK population. The vast majority agreed that the quotation above applied far more to career politicians than to immigrants.