New York: The International Medical Union and United Nation’s WHO unanimously agreed that only prayer can get rid of the world’s illness.
After an analysis of the hospital data and extensive research on the effects of prayer, the experts’ panel has agreed to stop all the medical research on drugs for curing diseases of the world and instead suggest patients to pray for their recovery.
The panel further detailed on the instructions being taught to the doctors worldwide to prescribe the verse, method and duration of prayer for each disease.
Riverend Bat Robertson, head of the panel, told to the press, “We have decided that only prayer can cure the world illness. Disease is caused by Bacteria and Virus, which are the handiworks of Satan, Dajjal, Asuras and Atheists. The evil Satan eats the free thinking of human infidels and pukes out virus and bacteria. When it enters human, it tortures them and sometimes leads them to death. The Satanic science misleads people by giving them evil pills and robbing them of their money. But, as we have belief that money should not be wasted when there is an alternative form of medicine called prayer and also, we have published new books for doctors on how to prescribe prayers after diagnosis.”
World famous doctor, Bakir Daik, enthusiastically arranged a demo for the doctors. One of the patients in the demo informs Daik that he has cancer and asks why he had it so. Daik shouted a question back, “Will you become a diabetes patient, if you find my diagnosis as acceptable?” for which he blinked.
Immediately, Daik told some funny story and illogical reason followed by prayer that the patient should repeat six times a day for his cancer to be cured. Daik then told to audience of a story of another patient who got cured of all his illness, by praying on the railway track, as per his advice. He had an intense heavy pain for few seconds and then was having no pain at all (His lifeless body was found scattered around the prayer spot, few hours later).
The famous Indian sage-scientist, Arasam Bapu, further commented on this victory of prayer. He said, “When you pray wholeheartedly, the whole universe conspires to help you. So, next time, when a girl is about to face sexual violence from men, she should pray so that the entire universe will come to help her.”
Social networking sites were storming with posts and tweets and shares about the power of prayers. AIDS, Cancer, Swine flu, Bird flu, Dengue, Cholera, Typhoid, Malaria and Diarrhea were said to be eradicated from the world by rigorous prayers. Atheists are beheaded or given mental treatment and then killed, because they do not speak seeing the walls, which are now, regarded a serious offence.
People who are injured in accidents are now surrounded by people who pray for them to be recovered. Their blood loss is seen as loss of their sin and their death is rejoiced as success of their prayer, enabling the dead to get into heaven. “Get well soon” is now replaced by “I will pray for you”. Surgeons have stopped operating and are instead praying for the operation to be done in a divine manner. ICU which stood for Intensive Care Unit is now changed into IPU (Intensive Pray Unit), where chronically ill patients are taken and are subjected to rigorous prayers by doctors and nurses for 24 hours.
All the medical research labs and hospitals were converted into religious places and there were fights among various religions about what should be converted for whom. There were reports of bomb blasts and chemical attacks on hospital compounds that suggest kneeling down prayer instead of bowing down prayer. Recent death toll counts establish that overpopulation is no more a concern in the world.