Bangalore. Nabil Mamsa, 26, an ex-employee of Accenture was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer due to excessive intake of marijuana and opium. “I was benched at the firm, there were no projects to do. I wasn’t getting paid,” Mamsa told The Faking News, “There were complications with my landlord. I had to leave my flat and my girlfriend broke up with me. So I decided to take a break and contacted my school authorities to send me back the projects I had submitted when I was a kid and they became my bible. They gave me the meaning of life. I beat cancer and I’m now a millionaire.”
But Mamsa was not the only one to discover the power of school assignments. An article in the Journal of Neuroscience used MRI scans to look inside the brains of young, struggling employees in India and abroad. A team of Harvard-led researchers recruited 40 young adults- 20 of them who had submitted finished assignments on time and 20 who hadn’t to make them reread their respective school assignments and evaluate hidden meaning from it.
“These data suggest that completing school assignments is associated with exposure-dependant alterations of the neutral matrix of core reward structures,” the researcher Deepak Chopra writes, “The amygdala, which controls emotional learning and a structure called the nucleus acumbens become highly excited when exposed to the iterations of completed school assignments.”
“I looked at the Topo sheet that I had submitted in the 9th grade as a geography assignment and I could see a strategy to crack CAT,” said Zartab Zeya, an employee at InfoSys, Bangalore, “I looked at the chemical equations on my chemistry assignment and now I don’t even need to go to the chemist. I can make my own medicines at my own will. It’s a miracle, really.”
“I was never punctual in my life,” said Rizwan, another struggling employee of Tata Consultancy Services, Chennai, “My boss hated me. But when I looked back at my English assignments, I was able to generate a dynamic strategy to win every argument with sleek punctuation. I was so punctuated, I became punctual.”
While some had different results based on their needs, one of the 40 subjects had a completely astonishing result. “I could now read minds,” the anonymous subject told us. “I was not getting a job in IT. I was having trouble cracking bank aptitude exams. I had tried and failed to no avail. But when I reappeared for SBI-PO 2014, I could just listen to the calculations whispers of the people around me. All I had to do was listen to the common ones. Decipher it.”
And when we asked him whether he cracked the exam, the subject told us, “Yes. Yes I did. I’m in the top 5 in this year.”
We wish him all the best for his future.