Oslo: It was paranoid all over the city today. Thousands and thousands of people are pouring in from all parts of the world and are holding the Nobel Committee building as hostage for the past six hours.
This commotion started after the Nobel Committee announced the Nobel Peace Prize for the year 2014. Initially, there were rumors that the Nobel Peace prize might go to the dangerous ISIS, but it went to the most dangerous girl of the Middle East world –
Aafia Siddiqui Malala Yousafzai. Immediately after the announcement of the winners, a volley of hate towards Malala came from within her country, Pakistan. (Pakistan only had three Nobel Prize winners, two of them are Infidels and Malala now a friend of Zionist Israel makes her worse than an Infidel)
Apart from the Middle East, the rest of the countries also had an opportunity to create confusion in the Scandinavian city. When the streams of people were moving towards the Nobel Committee building, little did the Norwegian police thought that it was not an usual march to support ISIS, but it was to protest before the Nobel Committee. The protesters were heard shouting, “I am Malala, give me the Nobel Peace Prize.”
Our Faking News correspondent, spoke to one of the protesters, Kamal Banerjee, “I’m a college student from Kolkata, India. When Malala Yousafzai was shot by the Taliban two years back, I was one of the first person to tweet with #IamMalala . I tweeted some 100 tweets with that hashtag. Even, I used to say to my college friends that I will also stand up for my education and write against the professors who always fail me to make me sit for another year in the same class.”
After shouting “I am Malala, give me the Nobel Peace Prize” to join in the chorus of protesters, Kamal came back to us, “This is what we want now. We were saying ‘I am Malala’ when she was shot. So, we have become Malala. And when the Nobel committee announced the winner as Malala, it means that the prize is for us too. Unless the Nobel committee gives me 12.5 lakh rupees and the Peace medal, I will not leave this place!”
Jack Stone from Texas, said, “Yo man! I ma came from the Wild West. When tha girl was shot, I ma posted ‘I am Malala’ in Facebook. Dude, I ma now Malala. I ma thaz winner. I need the green bills. I need to pay my home loan and also go on trip to Vegas.” And then he also shouted the same protest slogan.
When we contacted Sathyarthi, the other winner of Nobel Peace Prize, he said, “Yaar! I feel like Lal Bahadur Shastri and Sardar Patel now. They are treating Malala with the same attention they give to Gandhi and Nehru. I don’t want to comment on this.”
There are talks among the protesters that Nobel Committee now runs a risk of losing all its money and declaring bankruptcy, when it pays the prize money to all “I am Malala” protesters. And, to avoid this, the Committee is on a serious discussion inside the building to decide upon an alternative recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Update: As per the latest news coming from sources within the Nobel Committee building, they have decided to replace Malala with Bilawal Bhutto and Rahul Gandhi as the recipients of Nobel Peace Prize for the year 2014. The Committee is said to have unanimously chosen the two of them, as they are confident that no one will approach them asking for the Prize saying that “I am Bilawal” or “I am Rahul G”.