Oslo: In a wonderul news from the famous Nobel Prize Committee, it has been revealed that the peaceful Islamic State, also called Islamic State of Iraq & Syria (ISIS) has been decided as the sole recipient of Nobel Peace Prize for the year 2014.
Speaking to the press, Nobel Prize Committee head, Mr. Blowe Hansjkerd said, “See, there are guidelines on how to select a person or organisation to be eligible for a Nobel Peace Prize. According to Nobel’s will, the Peace Prize shall be awarded to the person who ‘shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses‘. Well, ISIS or ISIL, whatever you may call, has fulfilled the criteria for receiving the Peace Prize. Hence, we are happy and proud to announce that ISIS will be the recipients of Nobel Peace Prize this year. I welcome his highness Amir Caliph Bagdhadhi to Oslo by December 10,2014 to receive this prize from a secular, multicultural Scandinavian country“
After the applause stopped, he continued, “We received around hundreds of nominations for the Peace prize. But none of them matched the criteria as perfectly as ISIS. Infact, we missed providing Peace Prize to several other peace propagating groups like Taliban, Lashkar-e-Toiba, Indian Mujahideen, etc. But we are not going to miss this chance though. And a surprising thing is, apart from multicultural Europe, most of the letters that we received supporting ISIS for peace prize was from India, especially South India. We are finally satisfied that our Committee has done justification this year in providing Noble peace prize.”
When the press meet got over, we tried to meet the Committee members and one of them agreed to share the inside info, on conditions of anonymity. She said, “You people seem to be from India. When we decided to nominate ISIS, we feared backlash from communal states like India. But surprisingly, ISIS seems to get lot of peaceful fans from India. Last year, we made a mistake. This year, we will not. By the way, many of the people who had sent us mails endorsing ISIS are journalists from India, also some members of CJP or something. “
Previous recipients of Nobel Peace prize expressed happiness over the decision made by the Committee. They also raised their voice against Obama bombing ISIS and urged the Committee to take back the Prize given to him.
Many peaceful people went on twitter and expressed happiness over this news. Young peaceful students from the corners of India wore ISIS shirts and held flag marches to get across the peaceful message to the rest of communal Indians. “Since ISIS had laid many people to rest in peace in the last few years, they are the perfect match for Nobel Peace Prize #ISISForNobel”, tweeted Mahesh Bhatt, a peaceful filmmaker. Ram Iyer, who also expressed happiness over this news, tweeted, “ISIS has returned back our Kerala nurses untouched. They are not terrorists. They are real peaceful human #ISISForNobel”
Reacting to the news, ISIS speaker Bark Al Sayshun, said in a video released online, “By the will of media, we will conquer the Europe and then capture Norway. We will behead all those infidels giving us peace prize and then take away the awards, for our trophies are human heads and not trophies given by human heads.Who the hell is the Nobel Committee to award us? We will award them with a chance to convert our videos into DVD, or die.”