After honourable PM Narendra Modi laid out his conditions on resuming peace talks, Pakistan has laid out conditions from the side of Pakistan. Their foreign ministry directly submitted those demands to faking news to publish it as soon as possible. Pakistan’s foreign ministry also stated that since Pakistan is one country with utmost respect for democracy, first it carried out a referendum nationwide, took everybody’s consent and then finalized the conditions.
Here are the conditions mentioned briefly:
1. Televisions broken in Pakistan during last world cup after India Pakistani world cup match, to be replaced by new LED TVs on Indian expense. Another condition with respect to this clause is that the televisions should be pre-loaded with one rare prehistoric video of Shoiab Akhtar bowling out the top Indian batsmen out.
2. The handpump uprooted by Sunny paaji in Pakistan has led to water scarcity in Lahore so India has to reinstall that handpump and provide 100 extra handpumps as penalty. Also Sequels of movies Gadar-2 and Border-2 are not to be ever made. In future Sunny paaji has to do only romantic and comedy roles.
3. India to support in e-commerce establishment in Pakistan .Seeing the success of Flipcart and Snapdeal Pakistan wants Indian e-commerce experts to set up an online portal for selling and buying basic necessities. Its peace loving terrorists want their basic needs like guns bombs and explosives to be easily accessible and should only be a mouse clicks away. Pakistan also wanted Indian experts help in creating OLX and Quiker type portals wherein empty cartridges, used or expired bombs and malfunctioning Chinese weapons can be resold.
4. A 50 percent quota for Pakistani singers in all Indian singing based reality shows such as Indian Idol, Sare Gama Pa. and Voice of India. Also Arijit Singh has to retire from filmi singing to give Pakistani singers more offers.
5. India has to come to Pakistan for a 7 match ODI series with Sir Ravindra Jadeja as captain so that when India loses that ODI series nobody would doubt that matches were fixed as happened in case of Bangladesh ODI series. Also Srinivasan has to name at least one Pakistani cricketer in his will. Also every IPL team in India should have atleast 4 Pakistani cricketers.
6. Lalit Modi to be awarded Bharat Ratna for the chaos he created. Pakistan’s foreign ministry also praised Lalit Modi’s unrestrained power to wreck political havoc by only a few tweets. Pakistan also wanted Lalit Modi’s expertise in setting up Pakistani Premier league. It also wants to appoint Vijay Mallaya to act as a fundraiser and expert on banking matters for the upcoming Pakistan Premier league.
7. Pakistan wants Bilawal Bhutto to be trained in political matter by the political gurus in India. Pakistan did not name as who would be the tutors as they told that everybody in India knows who provides best political tutions.
8. Pakistan wants Jhoothendra Tomar to be handed over to Pakistan as a Visa and passport expert. Pakistan told that some at some times their certain peace loving terrorists may require passport or visa for a specific country very urgently which only Tomar can procure and provide.
9. The deflating land prices are a worrying factor in Pakistan. India to provide some expertise and advice from a very renowned Damadji to control land depreciation and make good returns with zero investment.
Entire secular media has praised Pakistan’s demands wholeheartedly. A renowned award winning Secular journalist Komolika Behosh said, “This is indeed a historic moment in the INDO-PAK relation history. Pakistan being such a friendly and peace loving nation always extends the hands of friendship first.Indians should not violate ceasefire and we Indians should leave our wrongful demands should reciprocate Pakistan’s gesture. If Indian government cannot fulfill these wishes of a peaceful younger brother then BJP should take responsibility and resign immediately.”