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Pakistan Brigadier seeks soft copy of protest letter from India to give a "befitting reply"

10, Oct 2014 By Mishtik Journo

Islamabad: A Brigadier from Pakistan has humbly requested for soft copy of the protest letter written by his Indian counterpart.

“Please e-mail me a soft copy of your protest letter so that I can reply to it. My typist is on leave for the last 3-4 days.”, pleaded Brigadier Musharraf to Brigadier Kapoor from the Indian side over phone.

Not to be mistaken for terrorists.
Not to be mistaken for terrorists.

“He will use ‘find / replace’ on the computer, replace India with Pakistan and vice-versa and send you the same letter”, his close aide confided with Faking News, “Caught on the wrong foot they are dumbfounded and don’t have much substance to save face. So he is going to employ the ‘child tactics’ of leveling the same charges against the opponent when wrong “

Following are the excerpts of the Indian letter:

India hereby lodges a strong protest on the breach of ceasefire done by Pakistan. India will give a strong reply to you if you do not desist. Thousands of ordinary public at the Indian border have fled from their homes and Pakistan is responsible for all this. The Pakistani Dy High Commission has been summoned.

“At first we thought that he is asking for a revised softer or mellower version of the letter from us, but when the typist story came up I understood the whole thing”, commented Brigadier Kapoor, “They don’t have ammunition for their weapons and typists for their officers because of no budget, no money. So their only option is to engage in such shortcuts.”

“Our intelligence reveals that they are using duplicate printer cartridges instead of genuine ones as an austerity measure. So don’t even expect a good print quality response”, he added

“The typist story is all cock and bull, Brig Musharraf cannot write even one sentence without a grammatical or spelling error. So question of giving a befitting reply to the letter does not arise. Therefore, the need for a soft copy and the cut-n-paste business”, a junior officer of Pakistan army told this correspondent on the condition of anonymity.

Meanwhile, the Pakistan defense minister who had been silent till now, after taking inspiration from Brigadier Musharraf, has just come up with a statement after numerous rehearsals with the video recordings of assertions made by the Indian defence minister Mr Arun Jaitley.