Monday, 20th November, 2017

Pakistan Army to sells off undergarments meant for its army-men to raise fund for sustained firing on border

06, Oct 2014 By Golden Tooth

Islamabad: In a bizarre decision , the Pakistan Army has decided that it would sell off undergarments meant for its army units to sustain its firing on Indian Border. The decision came after Pakistan army ran out of cash donated by USA  for “a stable and secure Pakistan”.

Not to be mistaken for terrorists.
Not to be mistaken for terrorists.

Speaking to local media the Pakistan Army Chief Raheel Sharif said, “We asked for funds from the government, which they declined saying that the Army is already using a sizeable chunk of GDP for buying arms and ammunition which otherwise was meant for food and education of people of Pakistan. Then we asked for the additional help from USA, but they too declined owing to scarcity of cent coins in their country.  We were running out of options, but then one of our majors suggested that we should consult Bilawal Bhutto sahib, our perennial troubleshooter.”

Bilawal Butto who himself was present on the occasion took over the mike from Army Chief  and said, “I knew that we are left with few options if none to raise money from our external partners Almsgiver. So I thought why can’t we raise money with our own effort.  While scrutinizing the balance sheet of Army, I realized that we have spent a huge sum on buying undergarments for our Army men.  I advised them to sell off the stock of undergarments.  The dress we provide to our army men  is sufficient to cover their body, why spend extra money on undergarments? That was an unnecessary overhead that our armymen could certainly do without. In the process we would manage an amount sufficient to carry out 60 days of firing on border.”

It is reported that Bilwal Bhutto worked the whole weekend on the task.  Though sparing some time for for his favorite Pakistani  comedy show kahabarnaak.

Among the reporters, an undercover Faking News correspondent asked a question, “Sir why didn’t you ask for fund from China?”

“We could have, but they might have  asked for another Askai Chin. And tell me how could I have afforded to lose part of Kashmir when I already have vowed to get back every inch of it,” said the young Pakistani  leader who idolizes Rahul Gandhi and aspires to be Superman.