26th December 2013
A statement by the honorable Diggi mama alias Digvijay Singh -‘Devyani is honourable son(Yes,Son) of India, we will go to any extent to protect the interest of Indian diplomats in USA, I am quite convinced of RSS role in the incident and ask USA to face a bloodshed if all the charges are not dropped against our country’s prestige. Rahul baba is quite shocked due to incident and went to McDonald’s only 14 times in last three days, he has captivated himself inside the PM Nivas and has been continuously watching Cartoon Network instead of Pogo Channel. Sonia Mummy Ji has decided to alter her hospital visits (Trips) from USA to Australia.’
January 1st 2014
Indian defense ministry has persuaded the Indian government to provide with the most advanced weapon of destruction, as a war is being anticipated between America and India due to spoiling of relationship over the diplomat Devyani Khobragade case. The indestructible, catastrophic and dangerous weapon has been delivered to Indian Army at earliest. The Nokia 1100 phones aided by phones of Nokia 3000 series are the weapons of mass destruction. Indian cannons are being loaded with Nokia 1100, Indian missiles are being provided with a mega 1100 destructive option, nukes are being replaced with this new baneful weapon.
Our reporter Gupt Kumar a good impersonator was present as a disguised government official during the secret meeting held between the defense ministry officials and Nokia salesperson (Representative). The concrete evidences of destruction were provided by the representative of ex-mobile phone giant company. The evidences those convinced Indian government, left them spellbound and scandalized were as follow:
1. An image backed by search monster GOOGLE (downloaded from Google images) depicting a 6000 km trench created when a Nokia 1100 was dropped from a 10 feet height.
2. Indestructibility of weapon was proved by an image endorsed by two distinguished personalities of country Santa and Banta(downloaded from santabanta.com), delineating a scenario where the Nokia 3300 phone remain unaffected when placed inside a volcano and a second picture showing Nokia 1100 survived nuclear warfare in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
3. Usefulness of the armament was backed by Dr. Manmohan Singh himself, when asked to prove the usefulness, the Nokia representative opened his Facebook account and showed the council a status update by Dr. Manmohan Singh ‘Nuclear to energy bhi hoti hai, weapon to Nokia 1100 hona chaiye, “Thik hain” ‘.The council first doubted it as a fake account but the THIK HAIN jargon made it all clear. 4. The fourth picture showed, the great lord Hanuman with bent GADA when he tried to hit the Nokia phone with his GADA.
Seeing all the evidences the government took the unprecedented decision that will make INDIA a new superpower, standing all alone in race, with USA and china running miles behind her. Although the possibility of US fighting war with India is minimal after this man-oeuvre, but it has created a chaos in people of America. Pakistan prime minister enunciated in a press conference to take responsibility of all the attacks on India and has withdrawn troops from Kashmir and has changed name of POK(Pakistan Occupied Kashmir) to IOIK(India’s and Only India’s Kashmir).China has given up all its claim over Aksai Chin and Arunachal Pradesh and has withdrawn its troop 500 kms away from Indian Border, also China has now declared Tibet a free nation. The arrival of 2014 has also marked the arrival of a new superpower INDIA, suddenly out of blue.
When faking news ran a background check on the Nokia Representative, they found out him to be a dealer of Nokia second hand phones, from Gaffar Market, New Delhi.