Wednesday, 13th December, 2017

MIT researchers to study female driving patterns

16, Aug 2014 By tanul

In a bid to solve one of the most complex universal problems faced by modern civilization, MIT researchers have taken up the study of treacherous patterns observed in female driving. The study aims to find an algorithm,which if applied, will help fellow citizens ascertain her next move. While it has played havoc in other parts of world for long, India has only come to face the problem post-Liberalization.The study will be funded by road and transport authorities of all major countries except some Middle East countries. It is pure coincidence that these Middle East countries do not allow females to drive.

Woman Driver
Full concentration in everything but driving

The study was sparked by global observations prominent among which were – Using indicators when they do not wish to take a turn. – Using left indicators for a right turn and vice versa. – Using high-beam headlight on city roads. – Banging vehicles while parking a car. – Busy checking out other female’s apparels while the signal turns green.

Preliminary research has revealed that the patterns are haphazardly unpredictable during seasonal and year-end shopping sales. It is this period when their brains are too busy working-out shopping strategies to be bothered by menial traffic regulations.

Ranbir Kapoor, Splitzvilla, Nivea Lip Balm, Tarak Mehta and Cell-phone batteries were prominent influences on their driving patterns in India.

The Researchers have provided useful insights till the study is complete: – Do not believe in their indicators,they might be doing it for fun. – Do not follow a car driven by her,for unpredictability is calculated per wheel basis. So for a car, it rises up to 4 folds. – Do not honk at her,for it may lead to applying breaks and standing-still. – Practice meditation to handle a dash/scratch to your vehicle.

The study, if successful, is estimated to reduce traffic and driving-frustration by over 75.66%.

While the male fraternity has pinned their hopes on the study, the female fraternity is confident of a dead-lock. “There are times when we think and we don’t do it,followed by things we do which were never on our list.We also end up doing things we hardly claim we did” observed Alia, a famous female psychologist,leaving the reporter a bit dizzy in head.