Monday, 19th March, 2018

Minister of Magic reacts on UK elections, says he relates with David Cameron

11, May 2015 By sidd325

As David Cameron’s Conservatives wrap up an astonishing majority in the British elections, the wizarding community give their opinions. The Minister of Magic, Douche-Malfoy said that he was able to relate to Mr. Cameron since both of them faced the same problem, immigrants.

The Faking news correspondent was shell shocked when he heard that the wizarding community faced immigrant problem, so he asked the Minister to clarify.

The Ministry of Magic
The Ministry of Magic

“Oh, what! You don’t know? We’ve had so many wizards immigrating to UK and naturally a huge percent of them are from India or China. There is a school in India called “IIN” which seems to be training a lot of wizards. They seem to be exceptionally talented in social networking spells. However we had doubts about their magical prowess, so we sent a team of Aurors to India, to investigate. *exhales deeply* But we made a mistake, we put two women aurors on that team.”

“On reaching Delhi they were put under some sort of psychic spell. They claimed that men were following them continually and that they heard voices in their head telling them to stop exposing their skin. This scared the wits out of them and they had to be exfilled immediately. Oh and getting back to the point, the other group of immigrants are the Chinese.If Harry Potter had studied in Hogwarts now, he would have met so many “Cho-Changs”.

“Those guys are wrecking havoc in our transport and weaponry market. Did you know how many fake Griffindor swords we have confiscated in the past year? And their broomsticks! I don’t know how they manage to pass the crash tests but ohhh man we’ve had so many mid-air collisions this year. Oh and their wands! I don’t want to get started on that, but it seems Ollivander had to close his shop due to excessive competition. So yes, both Cameron and I have inherited a nation with immigrantion problem and how can I forget, the White Caucasian population who feel they are entitled to a good lifestyle without doing anything just because they were in this country longer. *Sighs*.”

Our correspondent thanked the Minister and left . Meanwhile in India, Salman Khan’s lawyers have claimed that he was under an Imperius Curse, which was put on him by someone called Alcohol.