Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

Manmohan Singh is actually Sonia Gandhi, claims ISI on the eve of Independence Day

14, Aug 2013 By vinay pandey

In the biggest ever revelation of the civilized history, ISI has said that Sonia Gandhi has been playing Manmohan Singh for the last 9 years.

The revelations have brought a storm in Indian politics. Congress has condemned Pakistan in strong words and has announced that they will present Manmohan Singh live at 8’o clock at Red Fort on 15th August. Rahul baba will assure nation of MMS’s identity by pulling  his beard to prove that it’s original and making him speak for an unprecendented 45 minutes to rule out any Italian accent. Source say Sonia and other Congress members like Digvijay Singh will also help Rahul baba in his efforts.

Manmohini_manmohan-singh-sonia-gandhi-cartoon
This is what ISI claims has been happening so far.

Despite assurances from Congress, ISI chief made well reasoned arguments in favour of his claim, “Obviously they will use real MMS for demonstration purpose. But since the day Sonia refused to be India’s PM and proposed Singh’s name, we were apprehensive of her intentions. So we got the best talent of our country to investigate this and now we have proof that Sonia has impersonated MMS as PM. However, we still need to find where has real MMS  been all this time.”  he remarked.

When fakingnews asked what does Pakistan had to do with this, he snapped  at our reporter in disbelief “What do you mean?What kind of nonsense question is this? No matter what happens in our own country, 50% of our budget is for India related activities. It’s Allah’s wish and Insha Allah what a bomb we have dropped on you on your Independence day. “

On the question of how was it even possible for Mrs Gandhi to pull off such an act he replied “It was easy. Why do you think she named MMS as PM? She could easily hide her hair in the turban which would not have been possible with a bald guy like Digvijay Singh. The only choice other than MMS was Siddhu but he is in BJP and even if she had beensuccessful in pulling him into Congress and announced PM, Siddhu taking vow of silence like MMS would have busted her deception”

He continued “Why do you think MMS hasn’t spoken a word during two terms of UPA? His, I mean her Italian accent would have apparent to a 5 year old. Moreover, speaking would have made her fake moustache and beard fall down”

He went into details “One of our female agents has noticed several times that MMS always uses ladies rest room. Our agent initially suspected that he was using rest room to meet up with his item but she once caught him or her spending 40 minutes infront of the mirror. Now tell me which man would spend 40 minutes watching himself especially if the face in question is of Manmohan Singh’s.”

While our reporter agreed with his arguments, he still did not believe in ISI chief’s account. This is when he came up with an ace which put his claims beyond doubt. He played a tape where MMS was seen talking on phone “…. Rahul beta, I am proud of you. I love you …..”

ISI chief remarked “In this entire world only a mother can be proud of a person like Rahul. Can you refute this?”   He rested his case seeing no further questions raised after this conclusive proof.

While opposition parties are quoting the incident as another Indian intelligence failure, common Indian people do not seem surprised claiming they always knew it was Sonia running the government.