Chennai. A 35 year old man, from the suburbs of Chennai, smoked a full pack of cigarettes on #NoTobaccoDay. Mr. Jayaraman, from Tambaram- a suburban area in Chennai, normally smokes 5 or 6 cigarettes a day, depending on the number of phone calls he receives from his home during a day’s work. Yesterday, on the day of # NoTobacco, Mr. Jayaraman did not receive a single call from home and that was very unusual. What was more unusual to him was that he smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, all 20 of them, in a single day. Faking News caught up with him amidst all the smoke, which was still hanging around in his cabin.
Faking News: Say, Mr. Jayaraman, when did you start smoking? Mr. J: Right after I had lit up my first cigarette! Corny jokes apart, must have been when I was 20 or 21. I was introduced to the concept of normal days in a year tagged with some funny names and funny themes. On one such day, my friends encouraged me to give a rose to a girl from our area. I didn’t as much give the rose to her; I just showed the lone flower in her general direction and she removed her slipper and showed it in my precise direction. That’s when I smoked my first cigarette.
Faking News: Quite fascinating and heart-breaking story Mr. Jayaraman! Do you know even cigarette smoking damages the heart, along with other body parts? Mr. J: Yeah I do. Next question, please!
Faking News: I know you do not like days tagged with funny themes. But, how did you know about #NoTobaccoDay? Mr. J: It is interesting you have to ask this in the era of mobile phones. TobaccoDay or NoTobaccoDay, Dryday or National Drink Wine Day, Valentine’s day or Singles Awareness Day, they all come to you on a day you least expect them to. For instance, yesterday, I had just bought a new pack of cigarettes and the message came.
Faking News: Now, we are finally talking. Why did you smoke a pack full of cigarettes on #NoTobaccoDay? Mr. J: It is interesting again that you have to ask such a question. Traditionally, whenever India said NO to anything, we Indians burnt that substance. Have you read about ‘Swadeshi movement’, in history? OR watched Bhogi celebrations? To go with the convention, upon seeing #NoTobaccoDay, I immediately wanted to burn the pack of cigarettes. But wait! This is only #NoTobaccoDay. ‘Why should I burn the entire package along with filters?’. So, I decided to burn only the Tobacco in each cigarette and the best way to do that was to smoke each one of them. It is really the technicality, which made me smoke 20 cigarettes yesterday, phone calls or not.
Mr. Jayaraman picked up his mobile phone to attend a call, which appeared to be from his home, as he was searching his desk for something with his free hand. Faking News reporter felt an immediate urge to smoke and called his own home, at once, for support before lighting up a cigarette.