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Local man forgets to blame India for airport attack in Karachi

11, Jun 2014 By Umar Ahmed

Karachi: In a shocking turn of events, a middle aged grocery shop owner in North Nazimabad got the regret of a lifetime when he forgot to blame the Indian government for the tragic attack on the Karachi airport late night on June 8th, 2014.

“I usually strive to blame India within a period of 24 hours after any incident. That is my usual. I was busy at work on the day it happened so I thought, no issue, plenty of time to get around to it. But I was so tired after I reached home that I fell asleep right after I got home. It is undoubtedly the most shameful moment of my life affter I won the 2007 season of Living On The Edge,” said Mr. Sajid Ahmed in an exclusive to Faking News.

When asked for comments, Sajid Sr had this to say, “He’s no son of mine. And I’ve got the tape of the Maury episode to prove it.”

So Indian looking!
So Indian looking!

“Every family has their issues. His gambling, his drinking, his spousal abuse, none of matters, because deep down, all of us knew that whatever happens, the family will always come together in blaming India in any matter of national tragedy. And now we don’t even have that,” said Mrs. Sajid, barely suppressing sobs.

When asked for comments, Sajid’s alleged biological father said, “He’s no son of mine. Maury is a fraud.”

Sajid’s siblings and children are in a state of utter disbelief. None of them were able to believe that Sajid would bring such a shame to the family name. They were not available for comment but “Kal tak toh sub sahi tha. Ye aaj achanak sub kaisay badal gaya”, Wajid, Mr. Sajid’s son was heard saying in a fit of hysteria, according to sources.

When asked for comments, Sajid’s mamoo had this to say, “Heh. Whoa, he’s not my son, why would you even think that. Oh wait, you want my comments on him forgetting to blame India. Right. Heh. Phew.”

Security seems to be the number one concern at the moment. Two cop cars have been stationed outside Sajid’s house and more are expected following last night’s minor incident where a number of individuals were seen chanting, “Nazimabad may aaya bhoot” and statements rhyming with that line.

Twitter has been ablaze of anti-Sajid sentiment throughout this whole period.

“If it was any normal incident, we would probably have understood, but the fact that DVDs for Akshay Kumar’s movie, Boss were found on the terrorists that attacked the airport just seals it. You can’t not blame India in light of such conclusive evidence. That would be like me not auditioning for Living On The Edge when the theme of the season is ‘unemployed people’,” said Twitter user @ImranPTIFan4Lyf citing popular twitter account, @2TallyRealNews as his source for the DVD news.

@2TallyRealNews was also involved on the night of the airport incident in breaking some key pieces of news including the hijacking of several planes and choppers and F-16’s being brought in by the Pakistan Air Force to handle the situation at the airport.

“I just wish I was able to know that I was living in the ‘good old days’ while I was still in them,” said a teary eyed Sajid in closing while youtubing “9/11 + inside job + Osama innocent.”

The new season of Living On The Edge starts on July 16, 2014.