Sunday, 22nd April, 2018

Inspired by the Gujjar's ability to block things, Iraqi army to recruit them to block the flow of ISIS

26, May 2015 By anuj

In a move that could well turn out to be a Waterloo for ISIS. Iraq army has decided to recruit Gujjars as a front line defense after noting their spectacular record of blocking things.

With water already over the head thanks to ISIS ‘s march towards Baghdad. This move has been hailed as a perfect countermeasure by top defense analysts.

Iraqi army chief “Babaker Shawkat B. Zebari” when asked for his thinking behind this move highlighted the Gujjar’s successful blocking all important lifelines of Western India.

“These guys aren’t allowing a 1000 ton train to pass through plus these guys aren’t afraid of nothing, be it stray wild animals or Indian cops and politicians, so how can some 100 mercenaries with rocket launchers and AK 47’s be a problem! Also you know what, now after this victory I might even garner enough support to be able to pull of a military coup in Iraq thereby fulfilling their demand of getting sufficient reservations in IAS (Iraqi Administrative services).”

This move has also reportedly worried the ISIS who are now even mulling a detour. These Gujjars stop at nothing! Even our suicide bombers aren’t as desperate as these guys are for their reservation lamented a Jihadi in an anonymous statement via Iran radio.

Such a huge news though has received lukewarm response from the Gujjar camp.

When asked why, their protest leader Rahegar Gujjarian scoffed: “Yes of course we are overwhelmed by the Iraqi govt’s request but you see we are not the only one in this business. In the past Manipur’s United Naga front has actually held economic blockages for as long as 103 days! We are mere minnows as compared to them. So to reduce such tough and cut throat  competition we hope the army would introduce a 5% reservation for us Gujjars in this area and thereby ensure our psychological, spiritual and moral safety.”