Saturday, 24th June, 2017

India to give Kashmir to Pakistan if Arnab is also taken

27, Sep 2014 By MRP

In what can become a milestone in the history of the modern world, India has agreed to give up its stake on Kashmir and hand it over to Pakistan. But it comes with a condition that Pakistan should also take Arnab Goswami, who is the self proclaimed “Number One Journalist of India”.

While Pakistan is tempted to agree to this, as they are exuberant that their wish of several decades is coming true, they are wary of accepting Arnab along with Kashmir. They suspect that if India feels sending Arnab away is a good proposition in spite of having to lose Kashmir, then there must be something really sinister in the offer.

Arnab Goswami in New York
Arnab Goswami in New York

On the sides of the ongoing UN General Assembly session, diplomats of the two countries have been discussing the matter with utmost secrecy. An Indian official, on condition of anonymity, revealed some of the details of the negotiation, before going for a celebration himself. “We have solved two problems. We have solved the Kashmir issue and we have solved a pan-India issue.” On being asked why getting rid of Arnab is so important, he shot back saying, “Did you watch his debates from New York? At least when he was in India, one had to put up with him for just a couple of hours. But now it is days at end. Debate Hour has been converted to Debate Days! Pakistanis are fed up of him. Now Americans are fed up of him. And anyway Indians have always been fed up of his shows. What else do you expect? For, analysis shows that Arnab himself talks for 87 percent of the time on his shows and talks along with others for the remaining time. He never lets anyone speak a full sentence. He keeps repeating his points, objects to everything other say, takes a break if someone starts to make sense, consumes the whole time himself without letting any point getting made and ends the show quoting shortage of time. He simply says ‘nation wants to know’ when the nation is really not interested. ”

It is understood that the Pakistanis are still not convinced about the benefits of such a deal to Pakistan. They too are suspicious that India is playing a trick on them. They think that India wants them to give up their claim on Kashmir for the fear of having to accept Arnab. However, Indian officials are hard selling the deal to Pakistan. They are explaining the advantages for Pakistan in signing the deal. For one, once he becomes a Pakistani, Arnab will not keep confronting Pakistani government, military, journalists and others. Second, through his shows on Pakistani television, he can be made to treat Indian panellists the same way he now treats Pakistanis. Thereby Pakistan can take revenge on India.

While Indian officials are hopeful of signing the deal and Indians are hoping for better TV viewing, Pakistan is yet to take a decision. Till then, it is a wait and watch game for all.