Wednesday, 13th December, 2017

"If elected will use Ghadi detergent to make the White House more white": Donald Trump

03, Apr 2016 By The Satire Sadhu

‘Wash’ing-ton: The Republican candidate for American President Donald J Trump cleared out his views on relation with India and imports from Asian countries yesterday. Addressing a press conference post Easter celebrations, Trump made the above statement while answering a question of Faking News reporter Mr Kuch B Fenku.

When Mr Fenku’s friend Mr. Bablu Bluffwala asked him regarding the incident, he put the entire incident as follow: I asked Mr Trump his views on India, cheap imports from Asian countries and outsourcing with Indian IT industry.

Excited Trump before using Ghadi Detergent . Bhai , Pehle Istemal Kare phir Viswas Kare: May be US does not know how to use Ghadi detergent, so it will be outsourced to India. Woohay!
Excited Trump before using Ghadi Detergent: May be US does not know how to use Ghadi detergent, so it will be outsourced to India. Woohay!

Immediately on hearing the word Indian IT Industry, he took a pause for a second or two (Mr Fenku suspects Donald Trump’s campaign website is also outsourced to some Indian IT company which contains at least two of the following three words in its name :  Techno, Soft and Solution )

Soon after Trump’s eyes sparkled as if he had got some really quick Idea (4G?) and realizing he could very well utilize Indian products despite his statements against H1B and blue-collar jobs. He remembered seeing Indian detergent’s ads during his early days at Trump Corporation and made the statement, “Will use Ghadi Detergent to make White House more White”.

Trump further said, “My aim is to bring back the great America (though it is still great) and will do anything for that. Even though I have to use Indian products for that, I will do that. Indian detergents are the most powerful products in the world that removes any kind of stains and makes things whiter”.

There is also a research conducted by Jumri Talaiya University which says, “During ancient times when India was much more scientifically advanced than today, Indians used to go to moon to wash their clothes, the excess detergent used during washing of clothes and the leftover detergent; are the reasons why the moon appears white today.”

Many US delegates believe this is to be the trump card by Mr Trump and it will boost American’s confidence and along with, it will take Indo-US relation to the next level; opening doors for whole new opportunities in the sectors like cloth washing and paint business.

The agreement is already in pipeline where the rich people from India will send their clothes for dry cleaning to ‘Washing-ton DC’ and similarly US citizen’s clothes will come to White-Field, Bangalore (a whole new level of outsourcing!).

Hearing the above statement by Trump, Mr Modi retweeted Trump mentioning ‘#MakeInIndia, miles to go, smile to come! #SwachhaBharat!’. Immediately Kejariwal replied, “As Ghadi detergent manufacturing unit is in Delhi, it’s a proud moment for Kejriwal and AAP and Modi should not try to take credit”. Rahul Gandhi who is inactive on twitter because he boycotted #DigitalInida campaign, went to meet Ghadi Detergent labour staff and discussed regarding cleaning of Chhota Bheem T-shirts.

On the other side, Indian IT industry got another shock from US after increased H1B visa fees. As Many IT engineers waiting for an onsite opportunity have quit their jobs and joined as a sales person in Ghadi; realizing they might get an US onsite opportunity quicker there.

Note : This article is complete imagination and has been written as satire and to generate humor and does not intentionally point to any person or organization or anything.