After infiltrating into the Indian owned Burtse area of North Ladakh last week, the Chinese Government has strongly defended its actions by boldly stating that the majority of the World is actually Chinese.
“We have always maintained that the North East of India is actually Chinese land as many of the inhabitants of the region look like us, so naturally, this means that the land occupied by India is actually not theirs, but Chinese”, a Chinese Government official, Mr Lin stated while visiting India for political talks on the Chinese intrusion.
When probed by Faking News Journalists on whether this meant that South America, the Middle East and other regions where inhabitants shared physical characteristics with the general Indian race actually meant that the territories in question were actually Indian land, the Chinese official shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.
“That is not my problem”, Mr Lin explained. “It is not for me to comment on the Indian territory but I can unequivocally state that 95% of the World now belongs to the Chinese and should be governed under the impeccable Chinese laws, including our reputed human rights record”.
Journalists at the Press Conference were understandably perplexed at the Chinese standpoint but were updated by Mr Lin soon afterwards.
“Seeing as nearly everything every inhabitant in the World owns is actually made in China, it is obvious that this can now be construed to mean that every human being is actually made in China. As everything you are made up of, including your shoes, your clothes, the food you eat and much more is actually Chinese, so it is obvious that we are all Chinese!”
When asked about the suspicious World view of China’s human rights record, Mr Lin strongly opposed the doubt. “The fact is that the global political parties know where the real human rights issues are happening – like in the petrol filled lands of the Middle East. China is far too strong politically and economically to have any human right breaches”.
Faking News will soon be changing their headquarters address to include China without actually relocating.