Saturday, 17th March, 2018

Floods reported in lowlying areas of Bangladesh, weathermen blame it on a week of nonstop sobbing by 16 crore cricket fans

25, Mar 2015 By psych0bar0n

Dhakkan, Bangladesh: In an alarming development, various low-lying areas of Bangladesh have gradually submerged under salt water. Scientists have blamed this on the excessive tears shed by the millions of cricket fans who still haven’t come to terms with the thrashing they received at the hands of the Indians. Bangladesh met department head Rondu Hussain says, “Our drainage system cannot even handle the monsoon rains so you can imagine the stress caused by the tears of so many weeping fans”. Indian scientists have backed their Bangladeshi counterparts after observing similar rise in water levels across various parts of India chiefly due to the presence of a few million Bangladeshis spread all over India.

Bangladeshi Fan in flood of his Own Tears!
Bangladeshi Fan in flood of his Own Tears!

Social observers have said that the crying and moaning has reached such a frenzy that anyone not seen shedding tears is being dubbed an Indian. Reports have come in from Chittagong and Khulna that atleast 11 men and 25 goats were accused of being pro-India and beaten to death by mobs because they looked happy after the India-Bangladesh match.

Bangladeshi PM Sheikh Paseena, who has been sweating it out trying to pin the loss on Indian manipulation yesterday accused none other than Indira Gandhi for the loss. “If India has not helped carve a separate Bangladesh in 1971, we would still have been a part of Pakistan and would have won the world cup in 1992 itself”, claimed the crying PM. Not to be outdone, the Bangladeshi head of the ICC, Mustafa Dhamal, has declared that if it were not for the BCCI’s pressure and fixing, Bangladesh would have won not only the ICC cricket world cup but also the FIFA football world cup too.

The Bangladesh Govt has proclaimed a new law banning balls from being thrown above the waist; any person or ball who violates this will face the death penalty of facing a firing squad. The government has refused to exempt other sports like basketball, soccer and tennis from this rule leading to major confusion among the sporting fraternity.

Meanwhile rumours that the BCCI was planning to buy Bangladesh and convert it’s cricket team into an IPL franchisee has led to a  major uproar and more tears. Bangladesh, with an annual GDP less than the BCCI’s monthly revenue, has asked the IMF for a loan to ward of the BCCI’s hostile takeover bid.

In a recent development, Guiness book of Records and Ripley’s Believe it or Not have added Bangladesh’s name for the record of maximum number of people sobbing simultaneously. Faking News will keep updating you with the sobstory as it progresses.