Saturday, 16th December, 2017

Donald Trump to build another wall to keep Indians out of Hollywood

15, Mar 2016 By musereporter

New York: Republican candidate and businessman Donald Trump announced in a press conference yesterday evening that he is planning to build a second wall to keep Indian actors out of Hollywood, also going as far as to say that it will be paid for by none other than Shah Rukh Khan.

Donald Trump’s decision has spelt bad news for these stars.
Donald Trump’s decision has spelt bad news for these stars.

Speaking to his supporters at the St. Mark’s Place Institute for Mental Health, Trump said, “Look, we have a problem. Lots of people call me and they tell me, ‘Mr. Trump, I can’t see any Americans on TV or in the theatres. They’re all brown people. Please do something about this.’ Because we do have a problem, okay? Look at what happened in Silicon Valley. All the CEOs are now Indians. Look at Hollywood. Indians are everywhere. Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra, Anil Kapoor. That guy Anil Kapoor will do anything in Hollywood, even catering. They even attend Oscars. African-Americans don’t even attend Oscars.”

“Americans just aren’t winning anymore. My friends, they’re all actors, they tell me ‘Donald I can’t find a job anymore. Priyanka Chopra has already been cast. Or, Irfaan Khan has taken my job’. I get what they are saying. I understand, okay? We do have a tremendous problem here. Here’s what we are going to do about it- we are going to build a huuuuuuge wall. It is going to be higher than any skyscraper in New York, okay? It is going to be tremendous. And we are not going to get it done by China, we are going to get it done by Americans. And that’s not all, we are going to get Shah Rukh Khan to pay for it, you hear me? We are going to get Shah Rukh Khan to pay for it. They are taking all our jobs. We can’t let them do that.”

This response was met by furore from the audience. Surprisingly Sonam Kapoor and Ranveer Singh too were part of the audience. When Sonam was asked to comment, she said, “I really hope Mr. Trump builds this wall. Every time my father becomes free, he runs away to USA to find a job. I have forgotten what his real accent sounds like.”

Ranveer Singh said, “Ever since Deepika has started shooting for XXX, she has forgotten me. She would rather spend time with Van Diesel than talk to me. I have petrol in my Maruti. Why does she need a diesel van? Please make the wall Mr. Trump. I beg….” Ranveer started crying before he could finish his sentence.

Meanwhile, Shah Rukh Khan, who has Baniye ka dimag, said that he will definitely not pay for the wall.