Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Chinese forces intrude into India to avenge TOI for Deepika Padukone

20, Sep 2014 By johnrj

In a startling revelation revealed by the Chinese forces today, the real reason why they have marched into Ladakh is to avenge TOI for their twitter post of Deepika Padukone’s picture.

“We are all Deepika’s fans and we used to follow all her movies so we were shook by TOI’s rude post about her,” said a Chinese soldier, “We were agitated about her heartfelt anger too so we are planning to enter India to serve justice.”

She has fans everywhere
She has fans everywhere

The chinese forces have identified the TOI headquarters from the major cities to invade and destroy. They have also tracked down the photographers who took the pictures to attack.

“We are planning to invade till we reach Bollywood in Mumbai to see Deepika if possible,” said the soldier.

Although the army’s main priority remains with revenge in the name of Deepika, some forces seem to be having different reasons to attack India.

“We are under the mission to bring back all the Xiaomi M3’s India has taken from us,” said one of the soldiers belonging to the 11-aomi division, “We re running out of stock because the Indians are taking it all from us.”

“We are the chowmein army and we are still searching for the Khap Pachayat leader who said chowmein causes Indian men to rape women,” said another soldier belonging to the save-chowmein division, “We are planning to eat chowmein till we meet him everyday and prove to him that we haven’t raped anybody till then.”

Seeing all the different factions having different motives to invade the country, the PMO office have released the statement that “acche din” will be postponed a little bit until further intimation due to technical reasons. On the other hand, TOI have already sent free DVDs of “Finding Fanny” to appease the forces for some more days till they click pictures of a fully clothed Deepika to post in twitter to apologize for their mistake. However, tensions are still high in Ladakh.