Islamabad. In the first step of his fool-proof plan to take over every inch of Kashmir, Bilawal Bhutto has challenged Narendra Modiji to a Dandiya dance off.
“It’s Navaratri time in Hindustan. All eyes will be on the dance floors, if Modi ji can beat me, he can have Kashmir and a lifetime supply of Bilawal Bhutto merchandise. But if I win, Kashmir shall be ours!,” said a determined Bhutto, as he prepared for his Dandiya lessons at the famed Imran Khan school for Talented Individuals.
Girls gathered around the premises to catch a glimpse of Bhutto, as he performed his famous “Pinky Dandiya Mix” routine.
“He is such a dreamboat!” exclaimed a girl, in line to get her ‘Bilawal Bhutto chooses you’ poster signed.
It is rumoured that stars from all over the world are flocking in to watch this spectacle. “I’m a keen admirer of Dandiya. Frankly speaking, (somewhere, Arnab Goswami wakes up with a start.) it was my inspiration for the Lightsaber,” said George Lucas, who will be flying in a day before of the event.
The Mangalyaan too, has been called back to click live images of the event and relay it back to Mars, where Ved Pratap Vaidik and Rajiv Shukla are stranded and are set miss the event as they will be completing some immigration formalities on the red planet. A clearly dejected Rajiv Shukla remarked,”It is sad that I cannot attend an event of such magnitude. This really hurts my omnipresent wallah image.”
The event is set to take place at the Feroz Shah Kotla Stadium, mainly because Bhutto doesn’t know any other Indian stadium’s name. Judges for this spectacle include famous names like Len Goodman, Mia Michaels, Anu Malik and Gordon Ramsey. “I can’t wait to judge these two gentlemen.” said an elated Malik, “Over the years, I’ve a developed a penchant for judging events that have nothing to do with my line of work.”
There has been no official response from the PMO. However, Modiji has been spotted in the wee hours on several occasions, attending the Falguni Pathak School of Dandiya Excellence. This all but confirms his participation in this unique battle of two epic individuals.