Tuesday, 12th December, 2017

Arvind Kejriwal accuses Nobel Committee of Peace Prize Scam, UPA takes day off

12, Oct 2012 By injusthis

Former IRS official, Chief Campaigner of the RTI act and the new Commander – in -Chief of the India Against Corruption movement, Shri Arvind Kejriwal (also Ramon Magsaysay Award Winner), made yet another scam allegation. But this time his unbridled fury was unleashed upon the Nobel Prize Committee who awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to the European Union earlier today. The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the EU, according to the Nobel Committee, to serve as a ‘morale boost’ (I’m not kidding!) for the Union which is currently trying very hard to sort out their economics.

Addressing a hastily arranged press conference (with no mikes and cameras working due to a power cut at the venue), Arvind Kejriwal said that he suspected some sort of shady below-the-table dealing between the EU bosses and the Nobel Committee as he could not, for the life of him, understand why EU won this award.

“I mean… come on! How can a set of countries win an award? All right, assuming they can.. can’t you see what has been happening in Europe? All our black money is in Europe, the EU countries in NATO are still waging oil wars AND they almost kicked out Greece from the EU. What peace is this!”, said Shri Kejriwal, an electricty bill in his hand bursting into flames due to the awesomeness of his rage.

On being asked if he had any proof to support his allegations and why is he even bothering about the Peace Prize when there were more issues to be addressed in India, he responded with – “I don’t need proof. I’m so good at unearthing scams that nowadays, I can just sniff out scams as soon as they happen. The Jedi Force guides me. As for your question about why am I even concerned with this issue, I would like to state that I am a crusader against dishonesty and corruption not only in India, but the entire world and the Universe. That is the path of a true Jedi warrior.”

Responding to the allegations, a member of the Nobel Committee (on condition of anonymity) stated he was surprised people were even taking the Peace Prize seriously. “I mean, after we gave the Prize to Obama last year, we really didn’t think people would actually believe we’re being serious”, he chuckled.

Back home in India, the UPA declared an unofficial holiday relieved that they were out of Arvind Kejriwal’s focus for a day. This reporter had a few words with Union HRD Minister Kapil Sibal just as he was packing his golf clubs in his car. “I can’t deny its a huge relief to have a day off. My golf game has been off ever since the 2G scam. I hope one day without allegations will get me back into my form”, he said before zooming off in his car.

Senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh also seemed in a jovial and chatty mood. Sipping imperiously on his tea and speaking to this reporter on the issue he said,”Isme zaroor RSS ka haath.. oh sorry…scratch that out… force of habit. What i meant was… this Arvind Kejriwal is making all this noise for nothing. He is just dissapointed his Anna Hazare movement didn’t win the peace prize. Trust me. What I want to know really is who the hell made this tea! Tchah! yuck! Who made it! Disgusting! Isme zaroor RSS ka haath hai…”

{Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily endorsed by the author of this article. Cheers!}