On the eve of Indian Prime Minister, Narendra Modi’s US bound trip, American NRIs are making a strong stance against their current NRI branding. Officially recognised as the acronym for Non-Residential Indians, most are aware of its considered real meaning of Non-Reliable Indians, which has offended many new immigrants and other long standing American Indians all over the world.
“It is true”, Sanjay Screwvala, a college first year student at Boston University told Faking News Reporters. “For far too long, my relatives back home kept on teasing me about being a coconut”, he said, alluding to the popular notion of foreign Indians being “brown” on the outside but “white” on the inside. “I’m sick of it! Then they keep on saying how I’m a non-reliable Indian, when in fact, I would argue I am a Very Reliable Indian (VRI)”.
“Yes”, Geeta Basu , a newly immigrated IT professional at Microsoft piped in. “How can I be non-reliable when I was very reliable till last month?”
American Indian youth are wishing to take their campaign to Indian PM, Mr. Modi, hoping that he will understand their dire circumstances and officially change the NRI status. They are also currently in discussions on officially altering the commonly used ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) Tag to ABCSD (American Born Clinically Sane Desi).
“How can anyone call us non-reliable when we are the ones who have made Bollywood, cricket and Indian khana worldwide phenomenon’s? I am willing to bet on knowing the actually measurements of Salman Khan’s six pack, the cigarette brands Shah Rukh Khan really smokes and the real story behind Deepika Padukone’s cleavage epidemic better than any Indian from India. And Karan Johar and I are ‘chaadi buddies’” Priyanka, an American Indian teenager declared.
When asked how the campaigners planned to make their appeal public, Faking News reporters were told that protestors were embroiled in secret preparations of gate crashing Arnab Goswami’s American Newshour however, were fearful that they wouldn’t be able to get a word in through Arnab’s usual tirade.
“We are trying to get as many of us together to block Arnab’s voice for long enough to get the statement ‘Change NRI to VRI’ out there, but we are not very hopeful as this has never been done in history before. Just ask Arvind Kejriwal”.