It’s the 4th of July and celebrations in America are at their peak. Red, white and blue can be seen on every surface. The fireworks in the New York skyline are spectacular. At midnight, a firecracker painted the words “Happy 2014th Birthday America!” in the countries colours.
We conducted a survey of excited Americans asking how they felt on this day. We received some of the most patriotic responses.
“I can’t believe America is 2014 already! That’s older than Russia. Proud to be an American!”, exclaimed a high school teacher.
Can’t believe America is 2014 Years old! Russia is not even that old! Happy Birthday USA!
— Россия верен (@RussiaFaithful) July 4, 2014
When asked how did America gain Independence from a Master’s student in History, “Jesus defeated all the dinosaurs thus gaining us independence from the Mole people and formed the United States of America.” We then asked him the date America won it’s freedom. “Geez guys, it was on New Years in 1776! Seriously, do the math.”
America is 2014 years old this year. On this day Jesus defeated the dinosaurs, thus gaining our independence from the mole people.
— Brian (@Admiral_Evil) July 4, 2014
“The Earth turns 2014 today. In this honour we should all plant a tree near our homes, obviously only if we live in the suburbs.”, said an environmentalist waiting in line at a steak shop.
My homeboy dumb.. He said America 2014 years old… I told him that’s how old the word is, idiots!!
— Saudi V. (@SaudiLang) June 28, 2014
Her grandmother sitting on her wheel chair exclaimed in a squeaky voice, “America is 2014 already. They grow up so fast.” after which she broke into tears.
I cannot believe America is 2014 years old :’) they grow up so fast.
— Cole Easley (@BokeEasley) July 4, 2014
Such excitement among people of all age groups was contagious. American citizen’s are truly proud of their rich cultural heritage. In other news there was a rally outside the White House demanding true independence. The mobsters want the Black American President Obama to resign.
Other loving patriotic messages:
Today, America is: a) 2014 years old. b) 238 years old. c) 1776 years old. d) Fireworks and beer.
— mitch goldstein (@mgoldst) July 4, 2014