Friday, 20th April, 2018

Al Qaeda to rope in Ogilvy to improve its brand image

05, Jul 2014 By swaroski

It has been learnt from internal sources that Al Qaeda, the terror outfit, is on the verge of signing the leading advertising agency, Ogilvy & Mather, to improve its brand image. It is widely believed that this move was prompted by the rise of ISIS, a rival terror outfit, which operates from Syria and Iraq.

They need a complete makeover.
They need a complete makeover.

Al Qaeda, which was once the most feared terrorist organisation, under the leadership of Osama bin Laden, has been trumped by ISIS, which is more powerful in combat, funds and even recruitment drives. Al Qaeda, which mostly relied on donations and extortion money is now having to answer questions on its survival. It was even reported that many extortion threats were given at 50-60% discount rates.

The m0nth of July coincides with many students from elite institutions like the Tehrik-i-Taliban being scouted by organisations like Al Qaeda. On the day zero of the recruitment drive, these organisations make a beeline for the best students by offering them high pay packages and extraordinary signing bonuses. Unfortunately,  this year, it has been noticed that, these students are not too keen to join Al Qaeda. Several have not even considered the organisation fit enough to sit for their initial company presentations, leave alone the interview rounds.

A student we encountered said, ” We work very hard all year round. We had to clear our entrance exams(the dreaded Taliban aptitude test or TAT), work on projects, internships and then complete various assignments. We don’t want to spoil our future in an old world company like Al Qaeda. We have heard that ISIS offers better career prospects and growth.”

Many of these students had to undergo training in handling explosives, throwing hand grenades, organizing a radicalization program, shooting a ballistic missile from one’s shoulder, wearing a time bomb, shooting a Kalashnikov and even flogging a woman.

It is no wonder that students with such diverse skills would want to join a growing company. With the coffers of ISIS filling up each passing day and the Al Qaeda showing losses, many are willing to bet that Al Qaeda would file for bankruptcy soon. To avoid such a catastrophe, Al Qaeda has requested for the services of Ogilvy & Mather. An Al Qaeda insider reminded our correspondent, ” With good branding and a massive terrorist attack, we would be back in business. We just want to showcase the things that we are good at and also improve our public relations.”