Monday, 18th December, 2017

Al-Qaeda hires the PR firm that is defending Airtel Zero

15, Apr 2015 By shridhar

After being subdued by IS in PR campaign for last one year, Al-Qaeda has taken its first big step to restore its popularity. Al-Qaeda has hired the PR firm that is defending Airtel Zero. Our prolific reporter Kekdekar was able to trace the man responsible for this decision in the Mountains of Af-Pak border. He spoke to Yo-Man Al Piripiri, head of Al-Qaeda’s Marketing.

Kekdekar: Why are you guys so desperate ?

Yo-Man Al Piripiri, head of Al-Qaeda's Marketing, speaking to Faking News
Yo-Man Al Piripiri, head of Al-Qaeda’s Marketing, speaking to Faking News

Yo-Man Al Piripiri: (utters some phrases in Arabic) How can we not be desperate? IS has completely taken over the market. We have no support base left. We are feeling like “Orkut” and that IS is “Facebook”. If we don’t take drastic steps then we will have to shut down.

Kekdekar: Why this particular PR firm which is defending Airtel Zero?

Yo-Man Al Piripiri: Airtel Zero is going to kill the thing that hundreds of millions of people love. If some can defend that then they can defend anything. We are sure that once this firm starts to work for us, our popularity will soar.

Kekdekar: Any particular quality of that PR firm that has impressed you ?

Yo-Man Al Prirpiri: This PR firm plans the operations very well. It made sure that one of the worst laws which will be approved by TRAI will sound so boring and benign that people will not think of it. Also there have been a number of campaigns against this law but this firm has defended Airtel Zero well and even now only a few people seem outraged by this law.

Kekdekar: Don’t you think the success of this firm is because of ignorant people in India rather than the firms ability ?

Yo-Man Al Piripiri:  Aha! You missed a point there. Recognizing the ignorance and using that for benefit is a skill that this PR firm has mastered. Its not that easy to do. Spinning the story in such a way that people find it too complicated to understand or even making sure they have more entertaining things to watch are all the ideas that this firm has come up with.

Not really sure if AL-Qaeda’s popularity will be restored again. One thing is certain, Internet in India won’t be the same that it is today. The reason for that will be, we didn’t stand up and protest against this law or even send a mail against it.