Wednesday, 21st February, 2018

TIPPS- Theory of Inventive Political Problem Solving

22, Nov 2012 By Christiano Munniswamy

Most of a politician’s time is spent on formulating statements related to scams, bundhs, crimes and other mundane issues. This is a tedious task and it eats away valuable time which can be spent on managing their portfolios. Top scientists from MIT (Murugambal Institute of Technology) have noticed a trend in political statements issued in history. Most scams and crimes have been committed before and therefore it is not economical to waste time in formulating new responses.

Munniswamy inc. present a tool called “TIPPS”, which automates this process. TIPPS is a problem-solving, analysis and forecasting tool derived from the study of patterns of responses to political problems over the past few decades. Over ten thousand political statements have been studied from various standpoints, and trends have been compiled into a database. A mobile phone application was then developed. It is capable of giving ideal responses to everyday political issues. Some test results are presented here.

The following news headlines was entered into the application. For testing purposes, we considered a hypothetical India where very few leaders have the integrity and honesty of our present leaders.

Two women arrested in Maharashtra for posting status updates on Facebook which said,” Mumbai Shuts down due to fear and not respect.” Statements from various standpoints are presented.

  • A general Secretary of the Congress- “Who told Zuckerberg to invent Facebook? It is all his fault” “One of their houses had an Orange colored door bell. Saffron terrorists may be responsible for these status messages.”
  • IT minister “It is time we declare browsers like Firefox, Chrome and Internet explorer as illegal”
  • A former Bihar CM This is the reason, I do not provide electricity in Bihar.
  • Opposition party leader “This reminds me of the period of emergency…” “We will disrupt sessions until the policemen responsible are caught, CM of Maharashtra resigns and PM tenders a public apology.”
  • Fictional Prime minister “_________________________________________”
  • Random youth “What the F***!!? :(:(  This is so screwed y’all :(:(  Peace out :):):)”
  • Popular social activist “I now declare a fast unto death at Janthar Manthar.”
  • Middle aged leader of Youth wing of a political party “In order to express my solidarity with the victim, I will go visit their homes and have dinner”
  • West Bengal CM “I sense the hand of Maoists behind all this ruckus. “
  • Tamil fanatic “This is a result of poisonous western influence through English education. Tamil should be the new national language.”
  • Khap Panchayats (fictional) To avoid such incidents in the future, Women must be denied access to computers and married off at the age of 16.
  • Taliban (not fictional) To avoid such incidents in the future, Women must be denied access to education and married off at the age of 6.

The application will work only on  Akash tablets, between 9 Am and 6 Pm, Monday to Friday.