Friday, 22nd September, 2017

Stephen Hawking's speech synthesizer ordered for Mulayam

17, Apr 2014 By Lunatic509

Who says India is a developing country when leaders of this nation have resorted to new technology for reaching out to public. After buying the rights of Billy Joel’s song “We didn’t start the fire” for Oscar nominated “Man se he Mulayam” song, Samajwadi Party is all set to buy the rights of Stephen Hawking’s speech synthesizer for enabling people actually to understand Mulayam’s speech.

Mulayam Singh
“Rock kar dunga”

This awesome device will not only make his speech comprehensible—which is a miracle I itself—but will also will autocorrect his minor grammatical errors. For example if Mulayam says, “English should be banned in parliament”, it will sound like, “I sent my son to Australia for masters.” If he says, “Boys commit rape by mistake”, it will translate, “Don’t commit mistake of voting us again.”

While SP leaders are eager to use a kinetic device other than muscle, rivals are already ready to imitate. However, the British scientist has expressed his inability to invent a device which can make Manmohan’s speech comprehensible the device will work only if the speaker at least opens his mouth.

BJP has squashed all rumors ordering a device for NaMo whose eloquence of poetry recitation has enthralled the nation. Nonetheless, sources of Faking News have confirmed that an anonymous well wisher has offered him a CD containing ancient history lessons from Alexander’s invasion to Takshila.