Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Make way for Direct-to-Dream-Telemarketing

18, Oct 2012 By SM

GENEVA, NEW DELHI –  On Wednesday European research agency New Age Distant Advertisement (NADA) has announced launch of its new invention of Direct-to-Dream Telemarketing (DDT) a new style of advertising.

Addressing to media persons, Head research Zabardasti Chhoslowski said, “The future of Telemarketing has arrived. Gone are the days when you the companies had to pay for TV ad-time. Our latest invention ‘Automation Based Candid Dream Editing Forced Group Indicated Judgmental Kappa Level Management (ABCDEFGHIJKLM)’ will be the future of advertising. This technique will enable us to inject advertisements in the dreams telepathically. Recent Trials of this technique, now commercially named ‘DDT’ has shown excellent results. We have been testing many people with this method for last few years, and what better than, without informing them.”

“This technology is so advanced that it targets the correct audience at proper time. The field trials conducted have shown that the system takes note of your location and then based on that you get the DDT during local sleeping hours. The system also takes note of your behavior by storing your regular dreams and offering you perfect ad, as in Google ads.” He added further.

Explaining the performance of the system he showed the results of lab trials, “See the system knows your true nature and gives you the correct DDT. Like in case of Mr. Doigvijay Singh, it presented Pedigree ad, for Mr. Roberrt Vadra a mango juice ad and for Mr. Raul Vinci Gandhui Amul ad.”

This invention is getting mostly a positive response from the business world, as the BSE’s SENSEX rose 800 points as soon as the news broke. “This is easy and affordable. Also it pulls you attention anytime and you cannot switch channels.” told Rosemary Marlow, inventor of ‘Sona Belt’. Although this invention is getting condemned by the TV channels like India TV and Tez, of which majority of income comes from these telemarketing ads.

Many people have reported FN about their recent dreams suspecting their ‘unknowingly’ involvement in the lab trials. Mr. A Raja reported his dreams about latest Samsung Smart Phone, Mr. Mahesh Bhatt complained the dreams of B-Tex lotion and PM Manmohan Singh reported the dreams about remote controls.

NADA has asked Faking News readers to post their (or their friend’s) dreams so that the system can be improved.