Wednesday, 28th June, 2017

ISRO capable of launching 500 satellites in a single rocket says Trump after CIA report on Indian ingenuity

02, Mar 2017 By Mishtik Journo

Washington : After US President Donald Trump’s nominee to be the Director of National Intelligence, Dan Coats, expressed shock at India successfully launching over 100 satellites in one go, a core team of investigators from CIA is keenly watching episodes of “Ramayana” and “Mahabharat” where the warriors repeatedly release multiple arrows from a single bow in one go.

“We are applying the root cause analysis methodology to understand this concept of launching 104 satellites from a single rocket. It seems Ram, Laxman, Arjun and Karna from “Ramayana” and “Mahabharat” have used this technology for ages”, explained a Coats aide.

NASA's space made in India (ISRO)
NASA’s space made in India (ISRO)

“How could Indians achieve such a feat? US cannot afford to be seen lagging behind.We are looking for all the clues that we can get”, said a bewildered Coats.

To understand how “adjusting” Indians can launch 104 satellites from a single rocket, a CIA team was earlier seen travelling in the general compartment of Howrah – Delhi Janta Passenger train where 222 passengers jostled in the space meant for 72 passengers.

“We manage a crowd equal to the population of Australia as lakhs ‘launch into’ taking the holi dip in Ganga simultaneously every moment during Kumbh”, SDM of Haridwar explaining the Indian management abilities to a team from US.

“We have also interviewed scores of contractors and businessmen who simultaneously launched hundreds of their workers in different bank queues to exchange old currency during note-bandi. The phenomenon has remarkable resemblance to the ISRO launch of 104 satellites”, an undercover agent of the US intelligence agency told this correspondent.

“How these dabbawallas ensure simultaneous targeted delivery of lakhs of lunch boxes with accuracy everyday during lunch time in Mumbai is the key to understanding this phenomenon”, a spokesperson of E&Y who are consultants to CIA on this matter told FakingNews.

“The Indian ingenuity has the capability to launch even 500 satellites from a single rocket”, an impressed US president Trump said after getting the above intelligence inputs.