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ISI opens a Spy Cell on Mars

11, Dec 2013 By iconoclast

By Iconoclast,  | 11 Dec, 2013, 10.45AM IST

US security agency NSA informed congress PM candidate Mr. Rahul Gandhi late night on 10th  Dec 2013 that India’s Mars mission is under threat from Pakistani Intelligence Agency ISI which opened a spy cell on Mars this November

Reuters reports claim Pakistani establishment fears that Indian government under the leadership of PM Manmohan Singh will launch its inter planetary missile “Nishabdh” to attack Karachi and kill Dawood Ibrahim. The dreaded gangster has been on India’s most wanted list since Vikram-Vetal used to play hide and seek in dense forests of Amazon.

Reports from Indian news Channel Kal Tak claim that ISI’s Mars unit is fully equipped to dislodge any India attack on Pakistan from Mars or any other planet including Pluto and Parenthesis. Apparently Kal Tak correspondents were the first to land on Mars. Indian defense ministry said that ISI’s presence is not a threat to India nor it intends to attack Pakistan from Mars.  On a lighter note,  social media activists state that India’s Mars mission was undertaken mainly to provide more barren land to Mr. Robert Vadra.

BBC report claimed that Indian ultra sonic soundless missile “Nishabdh” was primarily designed for inter planetary attacks. However India’s repeated failure at bringing Pakistan down to its knees through conventional warfare has not gone down well with Indian citizens. The decision to deploy “Nishabdh” against Pakistan may at least help UPA in winning few votes in 2014 election if not in hitting the desired target in Pakistan.

PM Manmohan Singh declined to comment after being quizzed whether Indian security agencies too would open their branches on Mars. On a lighter note, the PM expressed gratitude for naming the inter planetary missile after him !

International council for defense and military strategy, Afghanistan headed by G-7 nations stated that ISI’s decision to move on to Mars marks the beginning of new chapter in international history. Renowned military strategist and ace director Mr. JP Dutta who produced and directed cult blockbuster war movies like Border and LOC said that World war 3 will be fought in space.

Lets hope Superman stands on our side whenever world war 3 will be fought ! Till then stay tuned as drama unfolds in Asia-Pacific…on planet Earth !