The market on Thursday morning was in an upbeat mood thanks to the entry of the new iPhone 5 in the Indian market. The new iPhone will see additional features made specially for the Indian market, including an option to make blank calls to Rahul Gandhi and compliment him on his speeches or test your skills in predicting the next place where the communal clashes might take place.
“Namofy Me” a special feature, will allow you to temporarily behave as a Gujarati and feel good about Narendra Modi in general. This follows an additional option of answering multiple choice question about who should be the PM candidate for 2014 elections. Priced 40,000 in India, the new iPhone 5 may also be used to bribe high level employees in the government or record fan videos that may tell you where Arnab Goswami is currently celebrating his holiday. Sources close to the BJP have indicated that Rajnath Singh might use the fabled iOS Siri for convincing LK Advani to give his nod to Narendra Modi, while the RBI was in talks with the technical team of Apple to help “redesign the rupee”. RSS is confused weather or not the iPhone is Anti-Hindu, Anti-Nationalist and an act of national shame.
While the geek enthusiasts are celebrating the success of new model, UP chief Minister has barred selling of the New Apple iPhone due to it being too communal in color. “We don’t know what might, or might not cause a communal riot. We think for the time being its best to maintain status quo. So for the time being we will only be allowing hate speeches and nothing else” said the CMO office when asked. The DMs of various cities in UP have been notified that they may be transferred if the new Apple product is sold in their city, although any acts of communal violence will only get you “reprimanded by the CM personally”
Also, the new “Location Detector” feature to find restaurants, Cinema theaters and Condom Vending machines was met with positivity by the ruling party. Over 9000 machines have since then been found and lost yet again. Mind you, if you are an Asaram Bapu fan then the “Location Detector” will instead point you to the nearest 16 year girl old girl for spiritual enlightenment.
All in all, the new iPhone packs too many punches. It doesn’t really offer any solutions, and is perfect for the irony that the our country is. Here’s hoping to see more from Apple in our markets.
With inputs from ISI and Mamta Banerjee