In a bizarre one-off incident which has shaken the entire Indian IT community, the Indian Software Giant JAFFA Software Solutions (JSS) has terminated the services of an entire project team consisting of twenty persons last week for actually completing the project on time, within the stipulated budget and also exceeding the clients expectations of quality and reliability.
The controversial project belonged to the American Legal Giant “BUnch of Lame Losers Sitting Highly Intoxicated & Tight” also popularly known as ‘BuLLSHIT’ in American and European Legal and IT circles. BuLLSHIT is a household name in US and Europe and is also one of JSS’s largest clients and accounts for nearly 45% of the Indian Service Company’s overall revenue. The project in question was an online web-based payments application called ‘BuLLSHIT Salaries’ to be used by BuLLSHIt itself.
This project was assigned to Project Manager Mr. Gajodhar Mishra, who has an unenviable track record of delivering all projects on time and within budget. While it is not clear why this project was assigned to him in the first place given his track record, an employee of JSS who was a witness to this deal (name hidden for obvious purposes) stated that “The client put up some really complex requirements and stringent timelines, stricter than the usual ridiculously high expectations. So strict that even the lousiest of project managers did not dare to take up this project for fear of falling lower than their usual miserable standards. I was surprised when he(Gajodhar) stepped up and took up the mantle for delivering this project. But I was pleased also. Given the deadlines, I assumed even he would slip and this might save his sagging career. Apparently, I was wrong.”
With the tight deadlines, Gajodhar and his team had very little time to understand the requirements and get the ball rolling. But they stood up to the challenge and gave their best effort. They worked hard day and night, sacrificed sleep and rest and gave their utmost to the task. They battled the odds like changing requirements, a hostile and unhelpful client and poor documentation and still gave their best, eventually managing to deliver the project for UAT (User Acceptance Testing) within the stipulated timeline. Thanks to their efforts, the project was totally defect free and totally surpassed client and end user expectations in terms of compatibility, security and robustness.
This however, did not go down well with BuLLSHIT top management, who were clearly expecting an application riddled with bugs. It is believed that BuLLSHIT made a serious escalation to JSS via a lengthy email. While the exact content has not been made public as yet, reliable sources informed us that BuLLSHIT threatened to cancel ongoing projects and not sign new deals until and unless this situation was rectified. To placate their ruffled client, JSS has undid the hard work of the previous team and sent a buggy application.
It is believed that the matter has become so serious that it has reached the White House. It is believed that Donald Trump has raised some serious concerns on this issue in one of his many tweets which said something about “Building walls and keeping BuLLSHIT work within the country.” It is believed that this incident will be one of the many points to be discussed by Trump with the Indian PM, Mr. Narendra Modi during the latters’ visit to the US this month.
In a press statement released this morning, Mr. Ghanshyam Chawal Das, Founder and CEO of JSS stated, “Never before in the history of our company has this event occurred. We are shell-shocked. Mr. Gajodhar Mishra and his team have tarnished our reputation for delayed delivery and crappy and buggy software by actually providing a defect free product. What’s more, they have actually done it within the stipulated time period and budget. By doing this, they have acted in total and compete defiance of Company Policy. We have no place in our organization for such kind of overperformers. Hence we had no option left and have terminated their services with immediate effect.”
The dismissed team members could not be contacted for verification. If rumors are to be believed they have kept a low profile out of the public eye fearing media hounding, even though one team member has portrayed his anguish in public by tweeting “Humse kaa bhool hui joh yeh sazaa humko mili” on twitter.
With such a blackmark on their career, it is highly unlikely that these team members will be accepted by any of the Indian IT companies currently or in the near future. What fate has in store for this team, God Only Knows!