Bangalore. ‘Torchy!’, a cute little torch/flashlight app for mobile phones was removed this weekend after it did not meet Google’s standards. It is alleged that, out of thousands of other apparently useful torch apps, Torchy! was removed because it didn’t roll out a mandatory update each week. It is learnt that the developer was already issued warnings twice in the last 3 months. The app was downloaded by over 400 people since its launch 5 months ago.
Rohit Shah, the app developer from Justanother Engineering College was aghast at this development, “My app was not just another torch app, it was my everything. I had put in hours and hours of research and hard-work in developing the perfect app. It had mandatory 2 min advertisement at the start, a ‘SKIP AD’ button small enough for people to click on the advertisement and another 1 min video ad when you try to close the app. I even released a ‘pro version’ for Rs. 49!”
“The app did not have any glitches. It had a smooth simple no frill user interface like all other torch apps. Probably I should have updated it once, only if to alter the logo”, he sighed as he looked at the 63 pending updates on his new iJustAnotherChineseBrand phone.
We got in touch with some of those who had downloaded the app and this is what they had to say:
“Really, I had this app? Thanks for informing me! I can now delete it. Probably my 2 year old downloaded it when she was searching for her favorite game.”
“Beta, I can barely understand this Android Shandroid. Yeh ‘app’ kya hota hai? Nokia band kyu ho gaya? Isme woh snake wala game aa sakta hai?”
Shastri R, an analyst with a knack of using hyperbole, oxymoron, euphemism and metaphors and cliches, opined “This Torchy app should have flashed and flashed hard. The crowd wants its money’s worth. Regular updates are a part of making the people feel they have a task on their hand. Make no mistake, an app is going to be bounced out if it doesn’t improve on its weaknesses. App developers need to pull a rabbit out of their hats to survive. It sure is a pressure cooker situation for these engineers who cant boast of being App Developers on their CVs if this continues.”
This development has raised some concerns for other small developers who are in the process of getting millions of dollars for their one bedroom-laptop-mobile startup.
“We have already rolled out 37 ‘bug’ fixes, changed our logo 3 times in last 9 months, changed our user policy 7 times and redesigned the home button 4 times in the name of ‘updated user interface’. But we can’t do it anymore. We are not a restaurant finding/ordering app which can redesign its home screen every week and confuse the hell out of users. We are a simple app which can just make fart noises in 43 languages.”
Google could not be reached as the journalist was busy freeing up memory for his apps to update.