Sunday, 25th June, 2017

Facebook’s artificial intelligence can find your perfect lover

06, Feb 2014 By cortgordner

Paris – Facebook may soon play the part of the all-knowing matchmaker.  It has been known since 2013 that Facebook can actually predict the fate of a romantic relationship.  In a study from Jon Kleinberg of Cornell University and Lars Backstrom of Facebook Engineering, researchers found that the social network behemoth can accurately predict whether or not a couple will stay together or fall apart.

Dangerous
Good going

The NY Daily News reported this story in October 2013, but it seems as if Facebook is about to take this somewhat creepy capability even further.  It is unknown exactly when this ‘matching’ algorithm will be released for public enjoyment, but an anonymous source inside Facebook’s research and development centre confirmed that the social network will soon be offering this service within the next two years.

It is currently codenamed Project: BittR.  Many speculate that “BittR” stands for “Beta Integrated Test Tube Romance,” a name that seems indicative of the experimental algorithm’s godlike couple pairing abilities.

Facebook: Our All-Knowing Wingman

With the world’s most popular social media network at over one billion strong, it’s easy to see why Facebook has been attempting to employ the most advanced artificial intelligence algorithms for truly ‘knowing’ its users.

In December 2013, it was reported by TechCrunch.com that Facebook will soon be able to recognize faces, understand posts and statuses, track activity, and analyze relationships, thereby determining the personality and interests of users.  This effort will be led by NYC Professor Yann LeCun, who has been pioneering a concept of artificial intelligence known as ‘deep learning.’

With artificial intelligence that can truly know who people are and what they want, Facebook is now allegedly developing this technology to use in their new matchmaking service.  Basically, Facebook will be able to draw correlations using thousands of different dimensions of the user’s personality, and then find the perfect match, based on relationship probability algorithms.

How the Matchmaker Matches

Facebook will use ‘deep learning’ artificial intelligence to understand a user, and then pair him or her with another user.  Individuals on Facebook may not even know that they are being matched, but Facebook will automatically activate subliminal messaging to access the user’s subconscious.

This subliminal messaging will come in the form of News Feed items, guiding the two potential lovers towards opening up communication.  This is Phase 1, also known as Inevitable Interaction.  Phase 2, called Assisted Cupid is then initiated, and it immediately goes to work touching up each user’s timelines, photos, history, etc.  For instance, in the AC-phase, BittR will touch up photos by intelligently deleting compromising pictures, altering unflattering photos with the help of a weight loss algorithm, and deleting interaction history with ex-lovers.

Phase 3 is known as Deal Seal, whereby Facebook will send fake messages through a program known as Friend Mirage, and then cause the two to “bump into each other” in some public place.  Essentially, BittR is designed to work totally behind the scenes without users having any knowledge of what is transpiring.

Controversy: Facebook’s Middle Name

By February 2014, Facebook has opened new legal offices in New York and Los Angeles, adding 489 new lawyers to the company payroll.  “We just feel as if it’s smart for us to have appropriate resources for legal counsel — but we don’t think we’re actually going to need them,” said Facebook spokesperson Dr. Phil Dudley.  He continued to deny the existence of BittR, saying, “Besides, all the rumors about this whole ‘love program’ are totally unfounded.  Such allegations are preposterous.”

While Facebook still officially denies the project, one non-profit organization, called “Flower Friends For True Love,” says that the rumors are true and Facebook will be exposed.

“If Facebook unleashes this evil on the world, ‘the man’ will even control free love.  We won’t let this happen, and we will tell the world what technology is doing to romance,” said Lovely ‘Kitty’ Sunflower-Smitherson, President of FFFTL.

UPDATE: On Thursday, all 18 members of FFFTL miraculously won 2-year-long all expense-paid vacations to the St. Lucia.  Facebook friends from their sister organization, “Hippies For the Making of Love and Not War”, have told us that they won the sweepstakes on a Facebook contest.  No members of FFFTL have returned our attempts to contact them at their resort.

Facebook has publically denied any involvement in the sweepstakes, but the anonymous source inside their R&D Department believes that Facebook’s artificial intelligence may be protecting itself from bad publicity.