Saturday, 24th June, 2017

"Where do I bowl, your highness?" bowlers to ask Indian batsmen according to a new rule proposed by BCCI

25, Aug 2014 By jyotil

BCCI has finally stepped in to root out Indian Cricket team’s inability to adjust to foreign conditions and shed the tag of poor travellers once and for all. In the ICC meet in Dubai the Indian Cricket Board finally worked out a plan which will help Indian Batsmen look good again and also made all the other boards fall in line.

“Basically we want our batsmen to dictate the terms, literally, to international bowlers in their conditions. What we have proposed is that their bowlers will ask our batters, before each delivery; where should they bowl and bowlers will have to strictly adhere to bowling in those areas. Only when our batsmen feel comfortable will they be allowed to bowl one delivery per over of their choice.”

MS Dhoni
Happy with new rules

On asked why don’t Indian batsmen apply themselves  more in swinging conditions or bouncier tracks, the high ranking BCCI official responded, ” Our cricketers go through a lot during the year. We dont want to make life tougher for our cricketers than it already is. Our cricketers are a special lot and they can have their cake and eat it too. It also helps that in this case that we pay for the baker and own most of the dough in the bakery.”

“The negotiations were intense and we did have to resort to a bit of arm twisting and had to drop the IPL word quite a few times. But we believe this had to be done for the greater good of the game. The game needs a level playing field and we can’t afford one sided matches like in the recent test series. Infact we have settled for much less. Our original proposal included tougher measures like bowlers have to run backwards till the final delivery stride, the neutral umpires can tackle  the bowlers if he has bowled good delivery more than once in an over etc,” the official told Faking News when asked how did BCCI make the boards agree.

Faking News also contacted officials of other boards and they said, they were happy with the arrangements, “It’s a victory for the game of cricket. Indian cricketers too have agreed to use DRS, not for the umpiring decisions but to check whether delivery landed on the designated spot within a 2% deviation. We are renaming it as Delivery Review System and if the delivery is outside the designated spot then it will be called a no-ball,” said the Chief of ECB.

Responding to a query on whether these new measures will have the intended impact the official was pretty confident and then he revealed the joker in the pack. “We have appointed Ravi Shastri as Lord of Cricket. He has held all the roles available in the game of cricket and he will oversee everything. He is the silver bullet, infact we at BCCI call him “Ravi Brahmashtri”. He will see to it that Indian Batsmen are no longer Tigers at home and Lambs abroad and will also ensure that these new rules don’t provide unfair advantage to team India.”

On asked whether there is danger that such measures will change the spirit of the game, the official turned serious and retorted, “No there will be no change in the spirit of the game. It will still be Kingfisher.”