Mumbai: Finally a good thing might happen to the best thing that happened to Indian cricket, Lord Rohit Sharma. To get Rohit Sharma to perform, BCCI (also referred to as ICC) after 28th round of meeting in Dubai decided to impart IPL status to India’s upcoming test matches with New Zealand. Confirming the decision, the ruler of cricket in India, N Srinimama said, “If we look at Lord’s career, he just performs in the 2 months of IPL, rest of the time, he is either selling Maggi or lazing around. Infact, even after 100 international matches, due to his non-performance, he still looks fresh!!”
“To make the matches more IPL like, I have even started CSKization of the entire Indian team by including match winners like Sir (God) Jadeja, Ash(no)win, Mohit (who the hell is he) Sharma, Suresh (short ball specialist) Raina, Murali (whistle podu) Vijay, Wriddhiman (buddhiman) Saha apart from MS (“well ofcourse”) Dhoni, in the permanent playing 11. Now Rohit will get the feeling as if playing for an MI vs CSK match. Guru & Vindoo will be present in all the matches with lots of fresh towels” added Srini mama.
Sunil Gab-baskar, the head of technical committee of ICC said, “Each session will be a mini-IPL match, so technically we will have 15 IPL matches in a full 5 days of test matches. Some other changes being discussed are awarding 50 runs automatically to India whenever Lord plays or fielders stepping aside whenever a ball is hit by Lord…I mean you gotta respect the talent man”
Even hard-core cricket fans supported this development. “Rohit Sharma’s batting is like summer vacation……it comes to an end just when you start to enjoy it. Actually he is the most talented batsman, its just he is out of form since April 30, 1987,” said 12 year old Pappu.
Not everybody was elated with this decision “What goes around and comes back is Karma, what goes around and comes back in 2 minute is Sharma. Infact, this was our prime observation when we made him the brand ambassador of Maggi. These changes might prolong his stay at the crease to around 3-4 minutes…… But we trust Lord to tide over these minor hiccups and stick to his core competence of doing nothing !!!” said Mr. Ansoff Kotler, marketing head of Maggi Noodles.
The former greats of Indian crickets were a pragmatic lot. After a long pause Kavi Shastri said “This is just what the doctor Srini ordered. If failure is a stepping stone to success, then Sharma has already build a staircase to moon. Hopefully he will climb now”. When Kapil Dev was asked whether it will be difficult for Rohit Sharma to get off the troll walls he said “Difficult toh nahi hoga, par mushkil jaroor hoga !”
Summarizing the situation, Sidhu thoughtfully said “The only thing you can get without hard work is dandruff my friend. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two. Rohit is the Edison of cricket, he doesn’t fail, he just discovers newer ways to get out and he is putting a lot of hard work in it. These changes are just some puncture on Sharma’s quest for science, I am sure he will come out of it strongly……hahahah….ooo guru….cha gaye tusi…..thoko taali !!!”