Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Teen develops suicidal tendencies due to absence of IPL for 2 days

17, May 2014 By sudhanva

Bangalore: A local 18 year old boy, a huge RCB fan, whose name we’re withholding to protect his identity (actually we forgot to ask his name), had lost interest in life after he realised that there wouldn’t be any IPL matches on 16th and 17th of May due to the declaration of poll results.

“IPL is my life. I’ve spent the last five weeks watching IPL everyday. How can they do this to me?” asked the boy amidst his bawling. His plight was so touching that it nearly brought tears in our eyes too.

IPL can change the system more than elections
IPL can change the system more than elections

He reportedly tried jumping off a nearby apartment but the watchman, who is a Congress supporter and hence wasn’t watching the news channels because it was so depressing, managed to pull him back. When asked about the incident, he answered in an annoyed tone of voice, “As if Congress getting a lower score than RCB’s lowest score wasn’t enough, this fellow tried to jump off. Not on my watch, though.” He gave one victorious smile but then immediately returned to lamenting Congress’s loss.

When we contacted the boy’s father, he grumbled something that vaguely sounded like “duck off” but there was so much disturbance that we couldn’t be sure what he actually intended to say.

His mother was more forthcoming. “It’s true that he tried to suicide. But it’s not his fault, is it? How dare they not have matches for two continuous days? Horrible people,” she cursed, supporting her son like every Indian woman would. She also told us that her son had gone into a mini depression on May 1 when there weren’t any matches because the teams were moving from the UAE to India.

“We tried pacifying him with repeats of RCB victories. Sadly, there haven’t been many of those matches this year,” she said in a disappointed voice.

There might be some good news for the youngster though. The IPL governing committee has decided to give him a place in the VIP Box for the rest of RCB’s matches in Bangalore, which is a sly move, we must say, considering there’s only one home match left for them and the final, which they have as much chance of making as Rahul Gandhi becoming Prime Minister in the next fifteen years.

The teen though is oblivious to all this and has expressed his gratitude to the IPL. “If I’d known this would happen, I’d have tried jumping earlier itself,” he said with a cheeky grin.

Topics:#elections #IPL