MUMBAI: After the dismal performance in Kolkata in the third test, Team India has decided to retire from Test matches, so that they can concentrate on their ODI and IPL performances.
Captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni, told Faking News today, “As there were lot of questions raised on retirement of players like Tendulkar, Yuvraj and Zak, the best solution to this problem is if the team retires making the other retirements redundant.”
Coach Duncan Fletcher, who appeared in his first press conference after an Indian loss, said, “We have devised a fool-proof plan to avoid losses in test match. In fact, as coach I am planning to extend this strategy to the T20 team too.”
It is a pity that this guy gets paid for this. Even Indian politicians do more work than Duncan Fletcher.
Sachin Tendulkar has announced that he plans to continue playing test cricket for Bangladesh. Apparently Sehwag also wanted to do this, but Bangladesh rejected this application as he is an “ordinary” test player.
Retired Cricketers like Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar have also reacted to this retirement. Since the BCCI has blocked us from covering that news item, we will focus on Shri Navjot Singh Sidhu.
Sidhu said, “#$*!%*@&#$^!*%&!@$&@&@&%!(&! ” The quote makes as much sense as what Sidhu has spoken over the years on Indian cricket, Politics , Big Boss and life in general.
Subramanian Swamy tweeted to his followers that this loss should be attributed to the Italian overlord ruling our country. Our reporters had to remind him that India had lost to England and not Italy in the test match.
Vipul Verma, an ardent Indian fan from Delhi posted on his facebook, “Kya Chutiapa hai yeh yaar, India mein India ki balatkar ho rahi hain, buri tarah.“
An over-enthusiastic Shyam Naren, liked the above comment and added, “Jo Baat Hindi mein hai, vo kisi aur mein nahi.“
The last we checked that thread, it had digressed to a North India vs South India fight. The key-takeways were the usual: “Delhi is the rape capital of India” and “Chennai Sucks”.
BCCI president, N.Srinivasan, was unavailable for comment, as the BCCI top brass was in an important meeting discussing TV rights for the next one year.