Friday, 27th April, 2018

Scientists discover the world's most slippery material

23, Mar 2017 By wewuzkangs

Search for materials that can provide unique properties,that could help mankind has been an endless journey.

The title has been shifting in rapid progression from the obviously clichéd and well known Teflon, discovered in 1938 to the much debated BAM, DLC, SLIPS, etc. The race for the lowest coefficient of friction has been finally reduced to insignificance due to the emergence of Geckonide, substance that could spell the end of the commonly found obnoxious and annoying lizard.

Scientists at the London University were looking at nature for inspiration when Mankind providedvering them the answer, albeit unexpectedly. As Chelsea fans they were only looking for some recreation, only to be sadistically inspired by the incident, the sight of which most Liverpool won’t forget for years to come,you guessed it right, the infamous slip of the legend Steven Gerrard sent their neurons into hyperdrive.

Seeking answers,they took permission from the club to evaluate the specific patch of the field to look for deposits of the material that could’ve possibly led to Liverpool blowing its chances of regaining the title ,after a generation of fans having turned old into their mid-life crises.

They took into consideration the local climatic factors that could have possibly  caused the infamous slip and subsequently the incredible heartburn amongst millions of Kopites. They ended up discovering it indeed was no individual fault of Gerrard’s, but the stupid groundsman who managed to create a one in a million shot of the right mixture and combination of water, manure and the dissolved salts in the soil.

This material, Geckonide has now come under the list of substances with the least friction, its potential applications vary from non stick cookwares, lizard proof paint, lubricants and coatings not to mention corrupt politicians, thugs and lowlife criminals who are always on the lookout for materials that could help them slip through the cracks.

The Liverpool YNWA supporters fan group,has issued a boycott of the products containing Geckonide as it brings back the bitter memories of the year that could have been if not for the ‘slip’.

The groundsman has opted for security and has changed his credentials to avoid the wrath in having unwittingly helped out the tragedy. Scientists meanwhile can only thank Stevie-G for having made them evoke their inquisitive nature,they have asked the Kops to please consider the forthcoming years as ‘their year’ like they have done for so long in compensation. Into the history books, Demba Ba and Man City have Geckonide to thank for.