London, United Kingdom: Real Madrid have finally announced the signing of the prolific Tottenham player Gareth Bale on a deal that has left the footballing world absolutely dumbfounded. The extremely talented Welshman is expected to travel to Madrid for a medical later this week.
Real Madrid president, who sanctioned the deal said to media that Madrid was looking for a player like Bale since 1979 and the club is really honored to have him in the Madrid setup after a long and engaging saga.
The club has reportedly paid a mind boggling sum of £ 100 mn and the Madrid club did not stop at that with Angel Di Maria, Morata, Sami Khedira and Manager Carlo Ancelloti moving in the opposite direction as an add on to the deal. It is reported that Real were also willing to include Pepe as a part of the deal when Tottenham threatened to pull out of the deal owing to security threat.
On being asked about the reason for this audacious deal, Real President said, “When Barca signed Neymar, we felt the urge to sign a player who is of similar stature. But we were unable to sign anyone. That same urge became an obsession for us when the Barca president mocked me for my inability to sign a big player at a Dinner party for the Disabled Footballers organized by Pepe.”
“Bale brings us quality. He fits our bill perfectly. I have been watching him play since he was in his mothers’ womb. He had an eye for goal since then. Our signing of Bale is a tight slap on the face of Barcelona who always felt that they alone had the power to sign big players” Added the elated Madrid President. “We hope that he learns Spanish so that we don’t have to forcibly make him learn the language from Pepe. That would be painful.”
“We now look to sign Emile Heskey to partner Bale up front. Expect some fireworks for this season from our forwards”
Bale was unavailable for comment. Heskey was available for a comment, but we preferred to ignore him.
It is also reported that Madrid will file for bankruptcy after this deal materializes as they are apparently left with no money to pay their players beyond this season. Apparently PSG are interested in buying the Madrid club in the future.
Meanwhile as the news of Bale coming to Madrid for an obscene amount reached Barcelona, the Catlan clubs’ new boy Neymar has developed anemia on hearing the news of the transfer.
Tottenham officials too were unavailable for a comment and it is reported that they have signed a deal to sign 4 League 1 clubs in England, a deal unheard of on either sides of the English Channel.