Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Ravinder Jadeja says "I Quit"

04, Jan 2013 By Pishaachini

Ravinder Jadeja – the guy who is single handedly responsible for winning most of the matches he has played in (for oppositions), has finally decided to hang his boots. But before you start rejoicing, let me clear the air by saying that he has hung them to dry.

If our sources are to be believed, Ravinder Jadeja, popularly known as Sir RJ, was attacked with water cannons and water balloons on the sets of his soon-to-be-released film “I Quit”.

Apparently, it was just a part of a scene, but owing to the popularity of Sir RJ, passers-by also decided to participate in the movie. It is learnt that some NRIs especially came down from Latvia to hurl water balloons filled with pebbles on Sir RJ. Sir was unavailable for comments.

Our source close to Sir RJ says, “It is true that Sir has decided to act in films now. This is all due to the fact that Sir has achieved dizzying heights of popularity due to his talent on the cricket field and Sir wants to convert this popularity into something meaningful – like a slap.” The source coughed twice while saying the word talent.

It is believed that Sir RJ’s long term Guru – Shri MSD is producing the film for him. When we quizzed Shri MSD, this is what we got, “Yes you know, the story is true. Sir RJ is an integral part of team and we have to learn how to play without him. We were on a winning streak and boys were becoming too overconfident. So you know, Sir RJ singlehandedly first ensured that the winning streak is destroyed and made us embark on a losing streak. Now the boys are firmly grounded, you know. Infact Sir RJ did his work so wonderfully that his contributions are etched into the minds of viewers. It is not very easy for a single player to lose a game, you know and Sir RJ has worked hard on this talent. Now it has rubbed on the entire team, especially youngsters like Sehwag and Gambhir. To award the superlative performance of Sir RJ, I decided to give him a break from cricket to help him achieve his childhood dream – making chutiyas out of people who watch movies and not cricket. Eventually, you know these people will turn to cricket and cricket will be the ultimate winner.”

The movie, it is learnt, is a sports based movie. The protagonist is an all-rounder cricketer who has no talent but is in the team due to “extra services” provided to the captain. Soon, the whole country comes to know this secret which leads to widespread protests on his inclusion.

There comes a twist in the tale. Instead of doing hard work and proving people wrong, the all-rounder continues his shoddy performances and finally quits cricket. “The role was a challenge for Sir RJ as it is completely against anything he has ever done on the cricket field. But owing to the talent that Sir RJ has showed, we were confident he would be able to do this role” said the Director Drunken Fletcher. He puked after mentioning the word talent.

It has also come to our notice that Shreesanth is performing an item song in the film. We will get back to you with more details in the next article.