Friday, 23rd February, 2018

Nation demands a state of emergency after Sachin's unfair dismissal

07, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

Kolkatta : India already reeling under social mayhem owing to Sachin’s retirement has called for a state of Emergency after Sachin’s unfair dismissal.

Ankit an avid cricketer fan said “I was shocked and deeply pained by witnessing such a gruesome incident. I am ready to undergo a root canal therapy, appendix removal etc without anesthesia, rather than watch such a thing again”. He further said ” I had left my wife who is expecting just to watch this match and this is what i see, i have lost all faith in god. I don’t want to live any more. Cricket is an orphan in India, how would India find 1 Sachin’s replacement in a small country of 120 crores

Arnab was happy that finally this time the nation actually demanded an answer of the Congress that what had it done to prevent such a catastrophe, just a few tonnes of petals, 200 odd LCD’s, photos printed on tickets, masks and placards on every seats, 3000 children clapping etc just this.

In response to this Manmohan Singh broke his silence and spoke the following points

1) 7 Organizations who have denied leave to its employees to watch Sachin play have been deemed anti national. Their communication, offices, bank accounts sealed and their proprietors put behind bars.

2) Issued an Interpol notice to commentators for saying that Rohit Sharma was the third one to achieve 200+, Sachin is a god how does anyone  compare him to such mortal beings.

3) Declare a state of war with West Indies, urge the UN for an embargo on West Indies

4) Replace the Army at the borders with the angry mob so that the army personnel could have a break and the energy and frustration of the mob could be channelized, this way he said we could regain our lost territory to China and Pakistan

5) Sachin’s shoes and bat to replace no 3 in the Indian batting side, He said if Ayodhya to could be ruled by God Ram’s Slippers why can’t Sachin’s shoes and bat replace the no 3 batsman in Indian Cricket team.

6) Declare early election in 2 days and hence cancel match if India seems to be losing.

7) ICC to offer 10000 tonnes of gold at Tirupati for 10 wrong dismissals of Sachin

8) 10 rupee notes and coins to be banned as a courtesy to Sachin’s no 10 t-shirt. Even the song “ek to teen” to be edited to deleted “dus” from it. No 11 would directly come after 9 in counting.

Public still reluctant with the proposed measures have called for a state of Emergency.