Saturday, 29th April, 2017

'Mummy Kasam' to be officially declared as Third Umpire in gully cricket, announces BC(G)CI

12, Dec 2016 By Tanish Ganjoo

Gokuldham: Board of Control of (Gully)Cricket in India, today announced that “MUMMY KASAM” would be soon declared as the official Third umpire in the gully cricket. In order to tackle the controversial decisions, BC(G)CI has also decided to implement “MATA RANI KI KASAM” as official review system.

As the news spread, there were demands from Rahul saurav Sachin (RSS) to add ‘BHARAT’ in “MATA RANI KI KASAM” scheme, so as to instill patriotism with sportsmanship. This demand received strong support from Bhajji dal.

Some patriots on their duty
Some patriots on their duty

We contacted a senior BC(G)CI official for more details, who said, “Well, we were convinced about the idea of ‘Mummy Kasam’ as the third umpire, after watching “Munna Bajrangi tigers” match with “Batlya superkings”. After almost 15 overs into the chase, Munna Bajrangi’s were in total control of the match. But, then they lost Pappu Yadav to a run-out. As pappu was adamant on being given NOT-OUT, the other team staged a walk-out and took the bat and wickets with them. It was then, that Pappu had to walk back to pavilion. This changed the course of the match. And, Pappu’s team ended on losing side. So, we are bringing in mummy Kasam to ensure total transparency.”

This move has created a lot of ripples in gully cricket circles. Captains are calling for meetings with their team-mates to discuss strategies following the move.

“This is an excellent move. This is the most revolutionary move in the history of gully cricket. Of course, we might have to face difficulties for next 50 days, but it is for the greater good”, said Navjot Subramaniam , a senior batsman in Babloo Jhakaas Panthers (BJP) team.

“Soldiers are dying on the border and can’t we even show our honesty by going through ‘mummy Kasam’ lie detector test”, he added. Meanwhile, some gully clubs have objected to it. Front-runners among them are Maa ki MAMATA team and Coughing muffler team.

“It’s a disastrous move. It has been implemented to meet their personal fancies and whims. Players like MaNo don’t really love their mom. They love their batting more. They will easily gulp a “JHOOTHI MUMMY KASAM” and bat endlessly. This is a conspiracy against minority community i.e., Bowlers”, a senior MAA ki MAMATA player said.

On further scrutiny, BC(G)CI ensured that no unfair means would be tolerated and that is exactly why “MATA RANI KI KASAM” as review system is being implemented.

However, if they prefix ‘Bharat’ to it or not, remains to be seen. In the meantime, UNESCO is planning to name ‘MUMMY KASAM’ as the best third umpire.