Saturday, 22nd July, 2017

Maria Sharapova escapes arrest warrant, can not arrest her says CBI

09, Jul 2014 By yesakki

In response to a PIL claiming the sentiments of cricket worshipers have been hurt by Maria, a non bailable arrest warrant has been issued by the Khap Panchayat of Shahpur. Mr Arnold Shivajinagar, the official henchman of the panchayat has vowed to bring her back to Justice.

“Ignorance cannot warrant impunity” said Justice AK Ganguly, while giving his unsolicited feedback on Sharapova’s comments on Sachin Tendulkar. It is rumored that he mistook Mr Arnold’s comment on bringing her to “Justice” as bringing her to his lair.

Indian govt has summoned the Russian ambassador for elaborate dinner, drinks & dance session to discuss the issue of Sharapova’s comment. “The ties between the 2 countries are weak. Already we rape a lot many Russian women tourists. This may worsen the situation. We need to avoid war” said the external ministry in a very empathic matured note. “We cannot let Khap panchayat handle such cases. Shift them to CBI. We don’t pay them for nothing” said the ministry. Copies of this notice are available at the Xerox shop behind the gutkha stall outside the parliament.

Meanwhile in a bizarre turn of events Sharapova said she totally knew n worshiped the Bharat Ratna Actor Mr Sachin Tendulkar.  She has asked income tax officials in India and Sachin tendulkar himself to confirm the identity of such a person. As per the affidavit filed by Sachin himself,  seeking tax waiver, he is an “actor” with “Other income” in cricket and a “non-professional” cricketer under section 80 RR.

“We now cannot arrest her. She is right. So we are bringing our officers, who went onsite to Italy, Malta, Poland & Fiji to arrest her, back to India” said the head of CBI. “CBI has done what they do best. Put this case behind us. Please prepare the nation for next Sunny Leone movie,” said a relieved IAS office, who had shrewdly put CBI on this case.