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Manchester United to hire Congress spokespersons to pass off their disappointing season as “Football Nirman”

12, Mar 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

Manchester, United Kingdom: Reports suggest that after enduring a disappointing and (seemingly) trophy-less first season under David Moyes, Manchester United- one of the world’s richest football clubs has turned to one of the world’s richest political parties for help.

Ed Woodward, the CEO of Manchester United, has reached out to Sonia Gandhi, the president of the Indian National Congress in an attempt to learn how to put a positive spin on a disappointing year of football.

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“We have just had one bad year but reportedly, this Indian National Congress party has been having five bad years,” Mr. Woodward said, in a telephonic interview with this Faking News reporter.

“In fact, the amount of revenue Manchester United Football Club has earned over the last twenty years is a little less than the amount of scam money the party has made from India in the past five. And yet it has spokespersons who defend it wholeheartedly and almost, brazenly. We want to learn from that.”

“We are trying to see if we can get Sanjay Jha or Manish Tewary over here as our official spokespersons,” Mr. Woodward said. “If someone can defend the theatrics of Mr. Rahul Gandhi, he can defend anything.”