Mahendra Singh Dhoni has reportedly thanked his fellow batting colleagues for providing him with an opportunity to spent more time in the middle.
Appropriately, he dedicated his 8th ton (113* off 125 balls) to senior batsmen especially Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir. The top five Indian batsmen, were dismissed quickly with only 29 runs on board, with the top four finding their stumps uprooted in similar fashion.
Dhoni, however, was also praiseworthy of the Pakistani bowlers for having created a pressure-filled situation,that enabled him to grind out valuable runs for his team. In a free-wheeling chat with Faking News, Dhoni described his teammates as “dependable and unselfish” for their “captain first, us later” strategy which enabled him to prepare in advance for the Chennai ODI.
“The skit (batting collapse) we presented during our batting innings shows how eager the team wanted the captain to be amongst the runs. The well-orchestrated and rehearsed drama ensured me a face-saving opportunity and i can’t thank the team enough for their selfless attitude” remarked Dhoni.
Nevertheless, Dhoni launched a scathing attack on Rohit Sharma who was, supposedly, the other beneficiary from this act of benevolence for his “unpreparedness in enacting his role to perfection”.
“Rohit was desperate for runs so he pleaded for a role in the drama, but he unfortunately played spoilsport. The whole team was skeptical about his performance, but I reposed faith in the lad though sadly, he has let me down” says Dhoni, when asked why Rohit cheerily strode to the crease on the dismissal of Kohli, but projected a sulking face on his own dismissal! Dhoni asserted that Rohit will have to now garner runs the “hard way” because of his shoddy performance in the skit.
Dhoni quickly deviated from the Rohit-issue and once again, showered immense gratitude on his teammates, taking the name of his closest buddies, Sehwag and Gambhir specially. “Sehwag was reluctant at first to play a hand in this, but i reminded him about the comfy beds and facilities in the home-team dressing room at the Chepauk Stadium to which he readily agreed but clarified that he will strike a boundary before offering his wicket”.
Gambhir was more defiant. “He mocked my plan but i assured him a guarantee that he will assign the field placements when we take to the field. But with his field-positions looking pathetically absurd, i had to intervene but unfortunately further aggravated the problems”. Dhoni found Kohli and Yuvraj least demanding and conditional.”
Kohli was itching to have a go with the blade and i could see the fire in his eyes that he wanted to score big. But, to my utter surprise this obedient and well-mannered lad promptly agreed to my decision, but he motioned something with his fingers and stormed off. Yuvi was in red hot-form so he could afford one bad innings, but i hope this trend doesn’t continue as he his known to be consistently inconsistent”, Dhoni signed off with a bang.
Dhoni’s startling revelations prompted us to certify its merit so we requested for an interview with the aforementioned batsmen. Interestingly, we discovered that none of them were available for comments. Yuvraj was busy preparing for New Years bash, Kohli was toiling hard in the nets, Gambhir was too grumpy to comment on Dhoni while Sehwag was cooling his heels in a nearby spa. And Rohit? He was found in a popular multiplex, which premiered the world-wide release of the comedy flick, ‘How To Impress Your Bosses’.